Fancy a game of squash?....

[Fozzer]

..... http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkie ... maller_men

I see them every day, queuing up at Cream Cake Counter at Sainsbury's Superstore.... ...!

I am small, but I'm not sure I would like to be buried under mountains of female flesh...

...I might never be found again!... ... ...!

Paul.... ... ...!

[Steve M]

It's what happened every time my parents went out for the night and left my older sister to babysit me..

[Fozzer]

It's what happened every time my parents went out for the night and left my older sister to babysit me..

...still get nightmares?.... ....!

Paul.... ... ... ....!

[Bass]

IN THIS HEAT, NO THANKYOU

[logjam]

Actually, the thought appeals to me somehow . . . NOT!

[OldAirmail]

Actually, the thought appeals to me somehow . . .

I'm sorry. What did you say?

[PhantomTweak]

Gals like that are wonderful! Keep ya warm in winter, well shaded in the summer...who can ask for anything more? And they are darn good cooks, as a general rule! Just a matter of making sure they do NOT fall asleep in the wrong place!
But heck, my current lovely wife is much much thinner than my ex was, and believe me, some great somethings to be said for the smaller gals too!

Have a great time all, with who-ever you are with!
"If ya caint be, with the one you love...Love the one yer with!"
If I may borrow a quote fro a song

Pat☺

[Steve M]

Gals like that are wonderful! Keep ya warm in winter, well shaded in the summer...who can ask for anything more? And they are darn good cooks, as a general rule! Just a matter of making sure they do NOT fall asleep in the wrong place!
But heck, my current lovely wife is much much thinner than my ex was, and believe me, some great somethings to be said for the smaller gals too!

Have a great time all, with who-ever you are with!
"If ya caint be, with the one you love...Love the one yer with!"
If I may borrow a quote fro a song

Pat☺

My current girlfriend tips the scales at 98 pounds. 5 foot one inch. But she's got a big girls mouth. Sometimes I sneak up behind her and twack her earlobe because I can out run this one!..

[PhantomTweak]

My current girlfriend tips the scales at 98 pounds. 5 foot one inch. But she's got a big girls mouth. Sometimes I sneak up behind her and twack her earlobe because I can out run this one!..

My lovely wife is 5'4" tall, and now weighs about 150-ish, but when we met, she only weighed 90lbs at most. I could fit my my two outstretched hands around her waist, wrist only took one hand to circle. She was badly, severely, underweight, almost "Karen Carpenter"-like. pretty near 0% body-fat percentage. Her then-husband had a lovely habit of drinking up his paycheck , and if he bought any food for either of them it was a mistake on his part or a bit o'theivery on her's. He realized our relationship developing and was happy for us both, oddly enough. He tried to get her to leave, I tried to get her to leave, but she had been so badly brow-beaten by him for so long her self-confidence was almost completely gone.
I finally, metaphorically anyway, dragged her out his door, he pushiing her just as hard as I was pulling, she resisting. She was terrified of any change. Once I had her out, the job of building her back up physically was much easier than emotionally, but I fed her and she slowly gained weight, till she was almost "normal" again. I also had to rebuild her ego, and self-confidence, both of which I think I have managed, after almost 25 years together now
This all was, naturally, after I divorced my then-wife, who had gone from almost 400lbs down to 175, due to plenty of meth use, rather than getting food for the 5 kids. I finally opened my eye, so to speak, to what she was doing. I hadn't wanted to see it, so had been blind to it. I cut her off, notified CPS, and left. They took the kids, so she had nothing left. No money, no food, no kids to do her biddings, nothing but her several boy-toys she had been allowing to use her physically for several years. They didn't provide her anything but...umm...you know...
Anyway, we got divorced, she moved to Texas, and good riddance. I moved back into my house, worked my tail off cleaning it up and disinfecting/debugging (literally) it, got the kids back, and finally married my NOW wife
There was a short episode that nearly led to my self-induced demise by 9mm means , but thanks to my lovely wife, she pulled me back from THAT edge, thankfully!
The kids grew up and left home, and the lovely wife and I moved up to Oregon here. We both have never been been happier in our lives, my physical illnesses not withstanding

Sorry for the excessive rambling, I just want to show how her and I have been through a LOT together, and apart, but NOW are finally happy together

Pat☺

[Fozzer]

I've had a couple of problems with my two previous wives, since 1954, and over the years, (whom I still visit occasionally for the benefit of all the children, and it was a long time ago), but after the last one left some 40 years ago, I have lived in a space of all sweetness and light, completely devoid of Females, (and all the grief and aggravation that they can produce at a moments notice...ring any bells?), and anyone else, for the past 40+ years....
I've got all my lovely Children, Grandchildren, and Great-Grandchildren, so I think to myself, (as I do), why, on Gods Earth, would I want to submit myself all that bloody misery all over again, with yet another annoying Female!.... ...!

I am a happy little Bunny, on my own, in my own house, with my lovely garden, feeding and watering myself, (as we Blokes are perfectly able to do), surrounded by all my toys, etc, and every thing I need to keep me happy and contented, with regular visits to all my family on my Motor Bikes!

Its not broke, so I'm not going to try and fix it!... ...!

Paul....Freedom is a wonderful thing!... ... ...!

...and my Prostate Gland tells me that I do not need any; "rumpetty-bumpetty" any more...so that's that problem solved....
...been there..done it...don't need to do it again!...... .... ...!

[Steve M]

I think this one that I'm with is my last woman Pat, I can't afford any more. Comes a time in life when we have to be practical! I proposed to her 7 years ago and bought her an engagement ring from a pawn shop. What more could a woman want? But you are right, a bad woman can be the scourge of your life.. As Paul indicated!

[logjam]

Only had 1 wife. Been together now for 55 years. The secret is to take good care of her. I bought her a self propelled lawnmower, couldn't stand to see her pushing that old reel mower around anymore. O and a light weight wheelbarrow, that was a must. Her knees were getting so fat bending down using 2 boards to gather up the leaves. When I came out of hospital, she had bought me a lovely lawn chair so I could watch her in the garden. She even changes the bandages for me.

[PhantomTweak]

The secret is to take good care of her.

I did take care of my ex, that was her trouble. I gave her complete control of all the money I earned, and she could buy what she wanted. All I asked was that the kids were fed and clothed, and well fed. Other than that, she could do as she wished. And she did. She spent all my money on crystal meth, barely getting the kids enough food, and no new clothes, ever. She treated her boy-toys (almost all of whom were under 18) to weekends on my 2¾ acres of property, including steaks for grilling, etc etc. Or trips to San Diego, and a couple times to Washington.
My current wife also has complete control, and makes sure all the bills are payed, WE have food and I have medicines I need, THEN spends on herself. Big difference between the two, dont'ya think?

She even changes the bandages for me.

My lovely wife does too, small things make a big difference

pat☺

[Bass]

My (third) wife is good.
Tho, i always win in every games we play, she cant handle money, she lets my belowed cactus to dry out (funny her flowers are pretty), she often burn the food cause looking at tv, she often takes me as being a taxi driver, she often has good ideas about the garden, she often ask what are you now bying on the net, she often ask what do you think about these clothes/shoes, she often ask what is wrong with my pc/need a new one, when i need an answer to something she's always talks on the phone.....
At the bottom line, she takes care of me

[Fozzer]

My (third) wife is good.
Tho, i always win in every games we play, she cant handle money, she lets my beloved cactus to dry out (funny her flowers are pretty), she often burn the food cause looking at tv, she often takes me as being a taxi driver, she often has good ideas about the garden, she often ask what are you now buying on the net, she often ask what do you think about these clothes/shoes, she often ask what is wrong with my pc/need a new one, when i need an answer to something she's always talks on the phone.....
At the bottom line, she takes care of me

THIRD??..... ...!

Blimey!...You are a glutton for punishment, Kurt!.... ....

Thought about trying this as an alternative?.... .... ....>>>

Self-flagellation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-flagellation

Paul..... ... !