Punography

[U4EA]

[bigcav]

Tried to catch some fog, but l mist.

Tried to work out what sunrise was, then it dawned on me.

[U4EA]

OOPS! I reckon with the site upgrade my original disappeared.


·I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

·I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

·When chemists die, they barium.

·Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

·I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

·How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

·I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

·This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

·I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

·I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

·They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

·A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

·PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

·Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

·Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

·The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

·I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

·Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

·When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

·I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·Broken pencils are pointless.

·What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

·England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

·I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

·All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

·I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

·Velcro - what a rip off!

·Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

·Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

·Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

·I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

[bigcav]

My last mission was to have been a dirty one.....but it was scrubbed.

Bought a new boomarang.. just cant seem to throw the old one away.

Had two Boeings and an Airbus for tea. I just love plane food.

The firework was charged with assault..but he was let off.

I use to pluck ducks...but the job got me down.

I educated myself in a lift.... took me to a whole new level.

I'm a bit of a phone dyslexic ..... there's a pap for that.

If you find coal in a coalpit.
And tar in a tarpit.
What do you find in a cockpit?........Pilots of course.

bigcav

[H]

·Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

This actually relates to my Native American relatives but is not correct; whatever reservations they had when first here -- or reservations toward those who immigrated (to be polite) later -- it is more correct:
Why are Native Americans still here? They were given reservations.