Still here, still alive...barely.

[Jared]

Welcome Back bud. We didn't interact much in the past but I do remember you! Glad things are turning around!

[Fozzer]

.....and do some flying to get your thoughts elsewhere

Actually I am thinking of renting a 172 and flying up the VFR route from Edmonton to Jasper/Entrance on Saturday. I fly the route all the time in MFS and early Spring is utterly glorious in the Rocky Mountains. I might do it - - or I might stay home cooking instead - I'm in a crock-pot sort of mood.
Ahh - days off are nice, aren't they?

Edit: Ooh, hey - new smilies! Let's try this one:


Kewl.

Now if I had the chance, I'd rent a Cessna 152, (with a Pilot), and fly one of my favourite Flight Sim routes down Highway/Interstate 1/101, hugging the Pacific Western Seaboard from San Francisco to Los Angeles, with a couple of overnight stops on the way....

..after 15+ years of daily Sim Flying it*, I know that trip like the back of my hand!

(But now...it will be all in the mind).... ...!

Paul...FS 2004....and a Cessna 150 Aerobat... ...!

* ..since Looking Glass' "Flight Unlimited II"... ...!

Paul....

[Fly2e]

Hi Staiduk, of course we remember you... you were actual a Mod for a while! Stay strong man! I have a few Friend's who are alcoholics and a few that are still in recovery... We are all here if you need to talk to us>!

[garryrussell]

All the best to you

No matter how bad it is today...tomorrow will be that little bit better and you'll soon be there.

Plenty to talk about to take your mind off any demons

[alrot]

Of Course I also remember you ,keep on it , don't give up Staiduk

Alex

[beaky]

It's good to hear from you! I see you have troubles, but you obviously realize flying is the best tonic for any pilot. Cary on!

[Jetranger]

Drinkings badd !!!
need to go get you a good Croc Pot, and start eating a lotta good steamed Vegetables,, I keep my croc pot almost constantly goin with something in it,, chicken, or beef and vegetables,, much better for ya and healthier too !!!

you'll get into it once you start,, and its delicious too !!!

That and a Bar B Q Grill,,, tastes way better than that Beer whisky,,,,,,

Umm good eatin !!!

[Fly2e]

Alex, didn't you used to practice martial arts?

[ozzy72]

I'm not dead yet, I just smell interesting I'm lurking if you want to chat

[alrot]

Alex, didn't you used to practice martial arts?

I think its me


sorry ,we say fight as and expresion like to deal with it to struggle ,I fix my mistake


Alex

[Staiduk]

Hi Staiduk, of course we remember you... you were actual a Mod for a while! !

Yeah; I was...for about a week. The competition for a new moderator had gone up; I applied, but by then; I was already slipping into the abyss.
I was barely hanging on at that point; literally scrabbling by my fingernails. I'd hoped my natural and trained leadership skills - combined with my real-world experience - would be able to provide me with a focus to latch onto; to prevent the Hell of alcohol addiction I could see coming - but was utterly powerless to avoid.

I can't remember how long I lasted as Moderator - maybe a month? But when I knew I could no longer act as Moderator - indeed; I could no longer function as a member of society - I posted a polite message of resignation. Then I left.

You never knew what happened once I left; but my last hold on civil society was gone. I will not bore you with the details; but I fell absolutely to the bottom of civilization. Once I'd fought to free people and create boundaries for new nations; now I fought gang-bangers for the edible contents of a dumpster.

I once smiled and danced with elegant ladies eager to make my acquaintance; tall, broad and handsome Sergeant Organ with my smart uniform and shiny medals. Now I took crack-whores if I could whip up the 40 bucks.

I once sampled rare wines and tried interesting variants of snuff from expensive fellows in beautiful suits.
Now I took any drug that would take me away from this nightmare. (EDIT: OK, THAT was a damn lie; gonna leave it in but I've no idea why I wrote that. Just trying yo emphasize the point I guess. I've smoked one joint in my life and hated it. Substitute drugs for alcohol and you've got the idea though.)

I was a soldier. I'd become a monster. A violent, drunk, antisocial thug determined to survive; whatever the cost.
I want to tell you this; not so you change your mind about me but so there are no illusions between us: YOU NEVER KNEW ME.

You only knew my words; and I am good with words. I told you what you wanted to hear. You made me a Moderator based on my words. You did not know the man writing those words was on the edge of falling into Hell itself.

Well, I did fall into Hell. I had to fight my way back out; as only I can. You can make of this as you will; you can mention the UFC or any other sports show but understand this: I am probably the best hand-fighter you will ever know. No-one - from drunks to gangmembers to soldiers - has ever beaten me. I'm neither strong nor tough; I'm just good; I will not allow anyone to beat me and I have the skill to back up that descision.

That is probably what saved me. Had I ever lost to the gangs or the drug dealers, I'd likely have fallen so low under the radar that I'd never been able to claw my way back. But I did. I fought them to a standstill. In the slum I call my home; I fought them until they left me alone. I won for myself the space to build up my funds; pay off my debts and re-enter the workforce as an honourable man and hard worker.

The road behind is long and rocky; but no more so than the road ahead. I'm glad you remember my Moderator status; but understand I was never the best man for it: I tricked you into thinking I was.

I will never ask for that honour again: I will never be good or neutral enough to deserve it. But I'm glad you remember I once held that privelege; it may be possible I did not go entirely forgotten. If so; I am happy.

Your contrite friend:
Dave

[Staiduk]

OK - need to apologize for that last post; it was quite needlessly maudlin. Yesterday was a bad day; I'm having wild mood swings and other weird effects here. I've no idea why; I think my brains rewiring itself to account for the lack of alcohol; or some such. Just made a complete idiot of myself on another forum; snapping at someone who didn't deserve it.

Good Lord, but when will this be over?

[Fly2e]

Dave, I am happy to ear that you have fought your way out of hell... and better yet that you can come here and admit it. Talking about it is a healthy thing. I judge you no different at all, in fact I have more respect for you. I was just mentioning that I remember you as being a Mod at one point, that is all, no judgements there at all my friend.

Keep fighting the good fight and don't worry about what you post here, it is good, mentally therapy to get it out. We all support you

[Staiduk]

Yeah; I know there weren't any judgements there Fly; just right now I can take offence at 'good morning'.

Hey - remind me of something; Fly - Remember back 7-8 years ago I held a race from London to Cairo with the Dehavilland Comet. Three of us raced; me, Nav (who beat me handily) and another I can't remember. I'm pretty sure YOU were the third member in that race weren't you? And you beat me IIRC; though not as easily as Nav - I was too busy having fun zooming through the Alps to pay attention to speed control and fuel management.

Damn - can't remember the third person; I think it was you; but it's just not coming to me.

[Fozzer]

Yeah; I know there weren't any judgements there Fly; just right now I can take offence at 'good morning'.

Hey - remind me of something; Fly - Remember back 7-8 years ago I held a race from London to Cairo with the Dehavilland Comet. Three of us raced; me, Nav (who beat me handily) and another I can't remember. I'm pretty sure YOU were the third member in that race weren't you? And you beat me IIRC; though not as easily as Nav - I was too busy having fun zooming through the Alps to pay attention to speed control and fuel management.

Damn - can't remember the third person; I think it was you; but it's just not coming to me.

...sounds to me like the; "good-old-days", when we all used to have loads of fun in FS 2002 and FS 2004, flying with each other in on-line Multiplayer!

The latest collection of FSX Pilots don't seem to be so interested in it nowadays.

I spend most of my daily FS 2004, FS Host, Multiplayer flights, on my own now, apart from one or two random FS 2004 and FSX Pilots from other Sites!

Its a completely different World nowadays, in Flight Simulation!

Paul...FS 2004 + FS Navigator... ...!