Simviation Forums

Part 1 is here



Eager for blood; the nearest creature charged and swung a leathery claw at the small man

LOL if only my attention span was long enough Sure its great though!

Great? It's freaking outstanding!  :o

Another Great Part of the story Staiduk,
keep up the story writing.

nemo....

I'm having trouble sticking with this: needs more pictures!

But it's quite a yarn, all right...

i hear some publishing companies are up your alley, really want to have some of your work.  ;)
I agree, needs more pics so it doesnt get locked *knock on wood* but excellent story

John

Location: Somewhere in the dark.
Time: Early evening, ship's time.



Julius led Kylie down to the locker bay where the fight had taken place.

Thats brilliant  ;D
But....after reading for an hour I think you have to write more

Awsome story, your characters are have much more depth in them than last time and your action sequances are among the best I have ever read.   The only critisism I have is that the characters tend to use slightly too much shortened words that can make it hard to read what they say.  I wish you the best of luck with your next installment, you should make a website with this story on for everyone to read and post it on some good righting websites as I'm sure many people would enjoy this and be able to offer more usefull critique than I.  Also you should submit the finnished one for publication, I would buy it  ;D  (make sure they leave the pics in they are vey apropriate and look cool)