1st ever edit.

Ok guys this is my first ever edit of an FS screenie, so please be gentle. However, I would very much appreciate comments/critcisms of a certain extent to help me improve
.
Ok, this is the original screen,

And this is what I came up with after about 20 mins of editing,

Thanks,
John.

Ok, this is the original screen,

And this is what I came up with after about 20 mins of editing,

Thanks,
John.