The Famous Small Garden Animals of History Debate

[Hagar]

Not your fault Will. I started the ball rolling & it gathered its own momentum. At least it shows what a helpful & ingenious lot of people we have around here. One thing still puzzles me. I still don't know what this thread was supposed to be about.

Hasn't done badly as it runs to 3 pages so far. That's far more than most of my topics ever reach. When I get involved it usually kills a topic stone dead.

[Craig.]

To avoid 1 fox and associated problems Doug's garden would now contain (if he followed advice from Sim V:

2 Fox Hounds
1 Llama
1 Tiger
1 Aardvark
1 Lifesize cut out of the Fozzer (naked)
1 Harrier
Several landmines

This will deal with the "infestation of fox" by ensuring that it cannot fit in the garden if nothing else.

Sorry mate, I feel somewhat responsible.

Will

You know, i dont know why but i cant help but laugh every time i read that list:).

[Hagar]

You know, i dont know why but i cant help but laugh every time i read that list:).

LOL Don't forget the elephant.

I know that was my suggestion but if it's worth doing we might as well make a decent job of it.

It occurred to me that if I planted a few landmines the garden would dig itself.

[Craig.]

if you can fit an elephant and a Llama into your garden you can set up your own petting zoo. Make yourself a few quid from it:).  If you can set the landmines in the front yard that'll stop any unwanted visitors, like the bill bringing postman, or those hooligan kids:) give family and friends a map to where you placed the mines of course

[eno]

A strategically placed landmine would work beautifully on the ants nest too.l

[Hagar]

A strategically placed landmine would work beautifully on the ants nest too.l

I had considered that Eno but I don't think it would do my lawn much good. With that darned vixen peeing all over the shop it's not exactly in prime condition now. That's what started all this in the first place.  >:(

[C]

Hows about an Apache - very good for moving targets - more ethical than landmines...

I suppose poison is very much out of the question Doug...

[Hagar]

Nerve gas might do it. I think the best way out of this is for me to move out & let all these animals have the run of the place. I can take up residence in a nice little studio flat somewhere with no garden to worry about. That will fix the blighters. Only problem with that is all those sh1tehawks around here that think they own the territory & enjoy terrorising the tourists. More like something out of a Hitchcock film - or maybe it was Benny Hill.

he swooped & he pooped - right in my eye

- or something like that.

PS. In case you haven't heard it.
My Little Friend by Benny Hill. http://www.monologues.co.uk/My_Little_Friend.htm

[Craig.]

This topic has gone from slightly strange, to completely surreal

[Hagar]

This topic has gone from slightly strange, to completely surreal

Sums me up perfectly. Have you only just realised that?

[Craig.]

I didnt realise it could be quite this bad. Is bad the right word for it? far reaching maybe? Differant? possibly.

[Hagar]

Now you can see the problems my neighbours have. I feel quite sorry for 'em.

PS. I don't really.

[Craig.]

Keeps them on their toes right? Which is a good thing in theory as it keeps their minds active.

[Hagar]

They never quite figured me out. Are you surprised?

[Craig.]

Not at all then again would someone like Frued have been able to?