Tur Turrb Turbulence !

[Jetranger]

Turbulence in the Skies !

I guess I'm gonna have to quit playing with my Weather Machine its causing tooo much - Turblance in the Air.


Turbulence : http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/19/travel/cathay-turbulence/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

[OldAirmail]

It wasn't your fault Mr. Jet.

That was just the pilot paying pinball. He meant to hit the side of the machine, and wacked something else.


At any rate the first class passengers are all OK.

And thanks to the airlines packing all the others in like sardines, only a few were really hurt.

[Jetranger]

"And thanks to the airlines packing all the others in like sardines"

that's no shit,,, that flight I took to Vegas on Southwest in December, my lord I felt like a Sardine

I hadn't flown anywhere since 2004, and that was on a Flight out of Frankfrut Germany to N.Y. to Chicago to Kansas City and then a Limo home.

The flight back from Vegas, wasn't badd same airline, just I got lucky and got a seat near the upfront Bulkhead where there were no seats in front and I had about 3 more feet of leg room.

Have no idea what plane I was on Jettin' back out of Germany at the time, it Lusthania Line tho,,and extremely large and plenty of room as I recall, then again I was in 1st class , somehow, at the Govts expense.

I slept most of the way for 18 hours.

I'd still rather of took a 727 or a 737-200 to Vegas,,,,

guess I'll just have to buy own Jetliners

I'm taking Donations at PAY-PAL if anybodys interested ??

You'll get a free ride on board the Jet, really ,,,,, that's about all you'll get is a ride to,, cause I ain't no pilots license, haven't the slightest clue how to fly a jetliner or the procedures.

I just flew with dad in his Cessna 172 for 18 years, haven't a clue about jets, and me talking to ATC, ya, they'd get a kick out of me alright !

Hey, I'm takin' off now, get the hell off the runway here I go,,, I'm up up and away , weeeeeeee

OK, Mr. Traffic Control dude or misses what do I do now

FL350 ?

My plane won't fly 350,000 feet in the air ?

heading 125 wheres that gonna take me ?

I wanna go to Hawaii, man,,, see if ELVIS is still playing there !!

Blue Ha~waya here I come

Flyin ain't like it used to be !

[OldAirmail]

Mr. Jetter Ranger, you need to do what I do when I want to fly to far away locations - Don't sit with the sardines! Go REAL first class.

Nowadays I always sit at the very first of the first class seating: the pilot's seat"



And I'm kinda like you. I know where I want to go, not really how I'm gona get there.

When you find a plane that you want to take, say a 737, just take it. BUT always leave a credit card on the ground where the plane was to pay for the rental.

I ALLWAYS find that it works out for the best if you can use someone else's credit card.



Don't forget to bring a good road map with you! VERY important.

Then, as an expert navigator, I use a highlighter to highlight the roads that I'll follow.

Some people don't do that, and will end up lost. But not me,



Next. If you're going to follow the "Roadway Navigation System" or "RNS" as I call it (And by the way - I've copyrighted that system. Use it without paying me and I'll sick the doggy lawyers on you. In a friendly way, of course.).....

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. Don't fly that 737 more than 1,000 or 2,000 feet AGL. That'll help keep those pesky clouds out of your way, and prevent you from getting lost to boot.


Many people don't realize that flying a jetliner and navigating is such a complicated business.




PS - "Blue Ha~waya here I come "?

You can't get there using my navigation system. You have to use the "Dead Reckoning" method.

"Dead Reckoning" is a system used by people who forget their maps or fly up there in the clouds.

I reckon it's called that because of the results. Dead.

Just make sure that you have your maps with you and that you stay low enough to see the road.


Oh. My system even works in the mountains, IF you remember that AGL stands for ABOVE GROUND level. NOT altitude.

There really are a lot of small details to remember. Who knew.