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everyone loves the blackadder series. one of the best british comedys. and those brilliant quotes that come out of it.

[baldrick] what are you doing under the table sir
[blackadder] incase you hadnt noticed their is an air raid going on, and i don't want to have to write to your mother at london zoo and tell her that he only human child is dead. now get

Baldrick, you can have the afternoon off when you die.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!  You have a womans purse my lord
John, A BIG! Blackadder fan

I'll wager that purse has never been used as a rowing boat!

If you want something done properly kill Baldrick before you start!

You seen any Germans recently?

Nien!!

Nine? You must be a pretty good guard!

(Sorry if any Germans are insulted by this comment; it's the only Blackadder quote I can actually remember at the moment )

Blackadder: Is this by anychance the plan by which we get out of our trenches and walk very slowly towards the enemy and hope they run away?

Darling: My god, how do you know that? It's classified information!

Blackadder: Yes, well it just happens to be the same plan we used last time, and the sixteen times before that.

Melchett: Exactly Blackadder, and because it's exactly the same plan we've used on the last seventeen occasions it'll be the very last thing the Germans expect. We'll catch them completely off guard!

The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd.

Needs must when the devil vomits into your kettle.

Captain B:

I would sooner have my foreskin stapled to the table with a croquet hoop and my testicals beaten wafer thin with a steak tenderiser.

Matt

Blackadder:All I can say is that he better watch out! One more foot wrong and the contract between us will be a broken as this milk jug.

Baldrick: But that milk jug's not broken

Blackadder: You really do walk into these things don't you Baldrick?
*SMASH*



Jon

Oh don't get me started! I can just about recite every episode of Blackadder 2-4...

Blackadder: "As a reward, take a short holiday.... did you enjoy it?"

Blackadder: "Oh I'm sorry sir... I'm anaspeptic... phrasmottic... even compunctuous to have caused you such pericombobulations."
Dr. Johnson: "What, what, what?!"
Prince George: "I'm sorry Blackadder, but this is all beginning to sound a bit like dago talk to me."
B: "I'm sorry sir. I merely wished to congratulate the doctor on not having left out a single word... Shall I fetch the tea, your highness?"
PG: "Yes, and get that damn fire up, here, would you?"
B: "Certainly, your highness. I shall return... interphrastically."


I shouldn't know that by heart

Give me that money or you'll be as dead as that squirrel.

What squirrel?

*BANG*
Eeeeek!


That Squirrel.

Melchett and George:
"Row, row, row, your boat gently down the stream, hats off trousers down, isn't life a scream...."

Blackadder:
"Oh the joys of a public school education"

The Red Baron:
Red BaronRed Baron: How lucky you English are to find the toilet so amusing. For us, it is a mundane and functional item. For you it is the basis of an entire culture.  ;D

Another quickie from season 4,
Baldrick:
Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
But still I sing, sing, sing,
Ding a ling a ling.