Simviation Forums

Tell your corniest jokes here. I'll begin:

What did the rocket scientist say when he came home and found his dog had left a deposit somewhere besides on the paper?

ICBM!

I met an elephant from Tuscaloosa. Know how I knew where he was from? Because he had a tusk-a loose-a!

Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy used to door.

You're riding a horse full speed.. there's a giraffe beside you.. and you're being chased by a lion .. what do you do .. 



get your drunk &ss off the carousel ..

Last year I was on a plane sitting next to a monk and a salesman. It inspired me to think of this joke:

A mechanic, a monk and a salesman are on a plane. The plane loses all engines and it's going down, so they have to jump, but there are only two parachutes. The salesman announces "I have to get to an important meeting!" so he grabs one of the parachutes and jumps out. After that, the monk looks at the mechanic and says "I've lived a full life, a life devoted to God and I know that he has a place for me. You take the last parachute son". The mechanic replied, "no father, we can both go. That salesman just jumped out with my tool bag"

Yes, it's an adaptation of an old one, but it's still corny.

Last year I was wondering why I fell asleep on Good Friday and didn't wake until the following Tuesday.

Eventually figured out that someone slipped me an Ether Bunny!

Last year I was wondering why I fell asleep on Good Friday and didn't wake until the following Tuesday.

Eventually figured out that someone slipped me an Ether Bunny!

Sorry, that doesn't qualify as corn. That, is funny.

What kind of bees produce milk.......





























boo-bees

Horse walks into a bar,

bartender says, why the long face? [smiley=laugh.gif]

Two bear hunters walking through the woods and one looks down and notices the other has on tennis shoes..."why do you have on tennis shoes" he asks " you can't out run a bear"? to which the other hunter replied..."I don't have to out run the bear I just have to out run you."

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work

Why did the tomato blush?


Because it saw the salad dressing

a dyslexic man walks into a bra...

Craig

A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

On my desk, I have a work station..

A pirate with a steering wheel in his pants walks into a bar. The bar tender say's "Hey, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?". The pirate replies "Aye, it's driving me nuts!".