-My neighbor was mailed a pre-declined credit card
-CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
-Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
-The bank returned my check marked "Insufficient Funds." I don't know if they meant me or them.
-McDonald's is preparing to promote their 1/4 ouncer.
-Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
-Parents in Beverly Hills are learning their children's names -- they fired their nannies.
-My cousin couldn't afford to pay for an exorcism -- and they re-possessed her!
-A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
-A picture is now only worth 200 words, some even less.
-When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
-The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
-Finally, I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan and, when I told them I was really feeling low, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a child's pedal truck.
8-)
