Walmart murders...

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Walmart murders...

Postby patchz » Tue Jul 06, 2010 12:13 pm

[color=#000000]Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.


A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened
his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands.
As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.


Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.


The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...
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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby ShaneG_old » Tue Jul 06, 2010 12:16 pm

;D ;D ;D

Didn't see that one coming!  [smiley=thumbsup.gif]
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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby FuturePilot » Tue Jul 06, 2010 12:42 pm

;D ;D ;D I have to admit I didn't see it coming either!!!
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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby ApplePie » Tue Jul 06, 2010 1:16 pm

;D Best joke I've heard in awhile.
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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby aussiewannabe » Tue Jul 06, 2010 2:37 pm

;D Best joke I've heard in awhile.

Could use some humor right now, even if you didn't write it ;D

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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby Capt.Propwash » Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:10 pm

artie tells his cellmate, the husband: "Hey big man, lemme hold a $1.00"
Last edited by Capt.Propwash on Tue Jul 06, 2010 3:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby Steve M » Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:52 pm

;D ;D ;D That's funny!
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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby patchz » Tue Jul 06, 2010 6:13 pm

[color=#000000]I did not see it coming when I was reading it in my email either.
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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby B_7772 » Thu Jul 08, 2010 10:24 pm

;D ;D ;D ;D
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Re: Walmart murders...

Postby expat » Fri Jul 09, 2010 12:06 am

That is a blast from the past. Not heard that one for years. My father told me that one in the late 70's, except the punch line was.....Artie
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