Page 1 of 2

Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 11:11 pm
by Mitch.
Things you really don't want to hear on a flight:

1. This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as flotation devices.



2. Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of penauts.



3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close-up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that its all part of our airlines new commitment to making your flight a sightseeing extravaganza.



4. Goose! Bogey at two o'clock.....one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!



5. I'm sure everyone noticed the loss of an engine; however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more efficiently now.



6. Fasten your seatbelts (Said in the same tone your friend with suicidial driving tendencies uses when you get in the car)



7. It would be a good idea if everyone now closed their window shades and watched the in-flight movie.



8. Don't worry! That one is always on 'Empty'...



8-)

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:56 am
by Groundbound1
How about, "Ok everyone fasten your seatbelts, I'm gonna try something. I saw it in a cartoon, but I'm pretty sure it'll work!"

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 9:06 am
by aussiewannabe
From Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa -

This is your captain speaking. I have some good news and bad news.
The good news is: we

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:08 am
by skoker
Their is absolutly nothing to worry about... ;D

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:10 am
by Leigh
everything is ao......OMG WHAT THE F$#$ JUS...................

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 11:32 am
by Steve M
"Prepare for impact."


"OMG, look at all the pretty birds!"


"Damn it folks.. would you believe the head office just fired the whole cockpit crew.."


:)   

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:54 pm
by Slotback
"The wing is NOT on fire".

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 1:14 pm
by Rich H
It'd be interesting being a passenger with these two pilots.  :-/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGAR75rgykM

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 7:25 pm
by Capt.Propwash

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 8:41 pm
by Mitch.
;D ;D

I'm sure there are hundreds more. 8-)

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:50 am
by Souichiro
Ladies an Gentlemen....Welcome aboard ths Ryanair flight to......

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:57 am
by Fozzer
"Ladies and Gentlemen....

Not to worry....

Apparently, there is Fuel available at the next Airfield"..... [smiley=thumbsup.gif]...!

Paul.... ;D...!

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:36 pm
by expat
Ladies and Gentleman, if the trolley dolly is passing by, could you tell them the cockpit needs a hair of the dog ;D

Matt

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 3:46 pm
by H
2. Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of penauts.
Are penauts urological nanobots that go upstream you-know-where?


8-)

Re: Things you really don't want to hear on a flight

PostPosted: Tue Jan 12, 2010 11:44 pm
by B_7772
Here's something you wanna to hear
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reRRgEET6Kw


8-)

EDIT: Sorry for posting the YouTube link, I just saw the notification at the top of the form.