A young girl, down on her luck, decided to end it all one night by casting herself into the cold, dark waters off Beachy Head. As she stood on the edge, pondering the infinite, a young sailor passing through on his way to Portsmouth noticed her as he strolled by.
'You're not thinking of jumping, are you my dear?' he asked.
'Yes, I am.' replied the sobbing girl.
Putting his arm around her, the kind sailor coaxed her back from the edge.
'Look, nothing's worth that. ..... I'll tell you what; I'm sailing off for Australia tomorrow. Why don't you stow away on board and start a new life over there. I'll set you up in one of the lifeboats on the deck, bring you food and water every night and I'll look after you if you look after me - if you know what I mean? You just have to keep very quiet so that you won't be found'.
The girl, having no better prospects, agreed, and the sailor sneaked her on board that very night when they got to Portsmouth. For the next 3 weeks the sailor came to her lifeboat every night, bringing food and water, and made love to her until dawn.
Then, during the fourth week, the captain was performing a routine inspection of the ship and its lifeboats. He peeled back the cover to find the startled girl, and demanded an explanation.
The girl came clean, 'I've stowed away to get to Australia . One of the sailors is helping me out. He set me up in here and brings me food and water every night and he's screwing me.'
The captain stared at her for a moment before he replied,
'He certainly is love. This is the Isle of Wight Ferry.'
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Dumbass must be a blonde! 
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