Page 1 of 1

U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 1:28 pm
by 7X7-800
Hero Pilot and US Airways May Be Charged for Federal Violations


(Washington, DC) Chesley B. Sullenberger and US Airways

violated Federal migratory bird regulations by
hunting geese with an A320 Airbus jetliner, claim anonymous
government sources. Mr. Sullenberber, the pilot of flight 1549,

Air Force veteran and avid hunter, tried
combining both of his interests by bagging a brace of geese
over the wetlands near New York's LaGuardia airport after
takeoff, on his way to Charlotte, North Carolina.

The imported $77 million A320 airliner is not certified for either
waterfowl or upland bird hunting, so it was not surprising that the
aircraft malfunctioned, forcing Captain Sullenberger to ditch the plane
in the Hudson River.

The crew and 150 passengers were chilled and shaken but unhurt. Most
were simply grateful to avoid spending the weekend in Charlotte.

National Transportation Safety Board inspectors, rushed to
the scene, reportedly found no Duck Stamps on the downed aircraft's
fuselage. Captain Sullenberger has not been charged but is being held
incommunicado at an undisclosed location. PETA is urging the government
to prosecute the pilot for double honkercide and poaching, and the
animal rights group is expected to file a civil suit on behalf of the flock.

The two victims were undocumented aliens, according to sources close to
the investigation, Canada geese who had over-stayed their visas. Their
goose gang scandalized their quiet Queens community by squatting in
local cemeteries and golf courses, parking on the grass, cooking
strange-smelling food and throwing wild parties late into the night.
Neighbors say police dogs were called out on several occasions. Such
incidents have triggered a wave of anti-Canada goose sentiment, but at
this time revenge or hate crime motives are not suspected in the US
Airways bird bashings.

Forensic examination of the avian corpses continues, and technicians are
analyzing the two cadavers under heat with chestnuts, prunes, and
Armagnac. NTSB inspectors have contributed a supply of testing fluid, a
2005 Zind-Humbrecht Riesling from Alsace.

Note:The aircraft took off from La Guardia Airport before hitting the
birds. La Guardia is operated by the Port Authority of New York and New
Jersey. The Port Authority's logo is a bird.

Re: U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 1:41 pm
by specter177
I have a feeling some people will thinks this is funny, or hate it. Personally, I think it's hilarious.

Re: U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:07 pm
by H
Well, now that you've managed to post this, I've retrieved the news from my recent PM to Rom. Suicide attacks aren't new and these geese may not be the innocent 'victims' they seem:
Image



8-)

Re: U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 5:38 pm
by 7X7-800
Thank you for understanding that being ludicrous, is a valid comedic device. :)


From Merriam-Webster:

Re: U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:37 am
by BigTruck
;D  ;D double honkercide   ;D  ;D

Re: U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:50 am
by BFMF
Well, now that you've managed to post this, I've retrieved the news from my recent PM to Rom. Suicide attacks aren't new and these geese may not be the innocent 'victims' they seem:
Image



8-)


Everyone, get your shotguns out and do your part to prevent these 'birds' from attacking more airlines... ;D

Re: U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 9:33 am
by JSpahn
well done ;D....no one was hurt so, nothing to get upset abot in my opinion ;)

Re: U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:03 am
by NickN
Well, now that you've managed to post this, I've retrieved the news from my recent PM to Rom. Suicide attacks aren't new and these geese may not be the innocent 'victims' they seem:
Image



8-)





Surprised you have that kind of clearance. The old US administration had been following Bin Honkin for some time now and if the party in office at the time had managed to stay in office with the wind-down in the mid-east making it harder to sell the war to the public, would have declared war based on intelligence received about Bin Honkin's flock and where he and his clutch has been given safe haven over the last 25 years.

Important to note that none of the old US administration higher ups were anywhere near the scene of this accident.. this suggests they knew it was coming may have covered it up and may also have ben involved. There were reports of methane explosions in the swamp area sparking rumors now that the administration conspired and ignited the goose dung to scare up the flock in front of the aircraft.

Although there is no evidence the administration had anything to do with this attack (and really didn't) indeed they were very well aware of this illegal entry into the country by these terror flocks on a yearly basis and was very well aware of the danger but never warned the public about it

Re: U.S. Airways Pt. 2

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 12:05 pm
by NickN
Also...