A rookie wrestler was having a great season in the arenas across the nation. he had only lost 2 matches but had won many times over.
He breezed his way though the finals to the championship where he was to go up against the undefeated wrestler named "crazy ivan".
Crazy Ivan was a big, grizzly bear of a man. very muscular, and tall, his muscles hard as steel and his signature move "the pretzel hold" had been deemed by many to be inescapable.
The rookie wrestler was cautioned by his coach
"Look kid" said the coach "You have had a great season but this crazy ivan is undefeated. wear him down, use your small size and speed to constantly maneuver and tire him out before going for the win... and remember... NO MATTER WHAT dont let him get you into the pretzel hold... nobody has ever escaped the pretzel hold!"
so the rookie takes to the arena standing across the ring from Crazy Ivan and the match begins.
The young rookie was off to a great start, as he danced all around crazy ivan.
but it wasnt enough, though crazy ivan wasnt very fast, he had great reach, and only a few minutes into the match he grabbed the rookie and folded him up into a ball pinning him to the mat.
The pretzel hold was in place... it was only a matter of time.
Suddenly... crazy Ivan flew up into the air and the little rookie was on his feet like a spring. the little rookie slammed ivan back down to the ground pinning him quite easily.
shocked, the crowd went wild!
1! 2! 3!
the ref declared the little rookie the winner of the match before a stunned audience.
as the wrestlers left the mat the coach said to the little rookie
"Wow kid!!! Crazy Ivan had you dead to rights! NOBODY has ever escaped the pretzel hold how in the heck did you do that?!"
"Well..." said the little rookie wrestler "Ivan wadded me into a ball and got me into the pretzel hold and as we got down on the mat all hope was lost... it was then that i looked up above my forehead and saw these two massive testicles hanging in my face.... so i chomped down on them with my teeth as hard as i possibly could....
... and coach... you wont believe the strength you can muster when you chomp into your own balls!"
