Just Thought You Should Know...

What are you laughing at?

Just Thought You Should Know...

Postby Ravang » Fri Dec 26, 2008 5:54 pm

The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.

Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did they use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay!

Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts. So who built these old rutted roads?

The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts?

The initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagons, were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made by, or for, Imperial Rome they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus we have the answer to the original questions.

The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman army war chariot. Specs and Bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right - because the Imperial Roman chariots were made to be just wide enough to accommodate the back-ends of two war horses.

When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on the launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are the solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line to the factory runs through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than a railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So a major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined by the width of a horse's ass.
User avatar
Ravang
Ground hog
Ground hog
 
Posts: 0
Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:40 pm
Location: South Carolina, USA

Re: Just Thought You Should Know...

Postby skoker » Fri Dec 26, 2008 7:08 pm

Man... that joke was a pain in the ass to follow! :P
Image
User avatar
skoker
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4260
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:19 pm
Location: 1G3

Re: Just Thought You Should Know...

Postby Steve M » Fri Dec 26, 2008 7:13 pm

;D
Interesting, and humorous, it reminds me of a story about the Bubonic plague in Europe.
So many lives were lost during the plague that the king of England needed to increase the population so he sent a decree throughout the land. All available maidens were to get pregnant. The decree was sent throughout the land as Fornication Under Command of King. And so began the word we all use today when we stub our toe!
Last edited by Steve M on Fri Dec 26, 2008 7:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
User avatar
Steve M
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4765
Joined: Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:02 pm
Location: Cambridge On.

Re: Just Thought You Should Know...

Postby skoker » Fri Dec 26, 2008 7:48 pm

;D
Interesting, and humorous, it reminds me of a story about the Bubonic plague in Europe.
So many lives were lost during the plague that the king of England needed to increase the population so he sent a decree throughout the land. All available maidens were to get pregnant. The decree was sent throughout the land as Fornication Under Command of King. And so began the word we all use today when we stub our toe!

For those of you who are a little slow...

Fornication
Under
Command of
King

;)
Image
User avatar
skoker
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4260
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 8:19 pm
Location: 1G3

Re: Just Thought You Should Know...

Postby Brando14100 » Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:03 pm

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

8-)
Brando14100
 


Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 310 guests