Something to offend everyone!
Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:35 amA history teacher asks a class full of kids 'What was Churchill famous for?'
A kid at the back shouts out 'He was the last white man to be called Winston!'
-----------------------------------------------------------
I was feeling depressed, so I called the Samaritans...
Got through to a call centre in Pakistan .
Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane......
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says 'Show me it's true what they say about black men'... So he stabbed her and nicked her purse.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...
'Oi, what's your disability?'
I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off!'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Gordon Brown?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in.
'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tampax are changing their design they are repacing the string with a piece of tinsel .... This is for the Christmas period only!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
His wife replies 'You've got a bigger d*ck than your brother'
A kid at the back shouts out 'He was the last white man to be called Winston!'
-----------------------------------------------------------
I was feeling depressed, so I called the Samaritans...
Got through to a call centre in Pakistan .
Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane......
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says 'Show me it's true what they say about black men'... So he stabbed her and nicked her purse.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...
'Oi, what's your disability?'
I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off!'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' '
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Gordon Brown?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in.
'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tampax are changing their design they are repacing the string with a piece of tinsel .... This is for the Christmas period only!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
His wife replies 'You've got a bigger d*ck than your brother'
