Simviation Forums

IDIOT SIGHTING:
Back in 95 while visiting my colege friend at his work at Wendy's in manhattan, KS we both noticed a woman standing neer the order area.

I bought an empty bucket at Rona lumber and the cashier asked me if I wanted a bag for that. Two guys in line behind me were still laughing as I was leaving.

...notice that they all come from the Southern States?... .... ...!

....Ooooopppsss!.... .... .... ...!

F..... ...!

...notice that they all come from the Southern States?... .... ...!

....Ooooopppsss!.... .... .... ...!

F..... ...!

8-)

...notice that they all come from the Southern States?... .... ...!

...and a few from the other side of the other border. I stopped into Tim Hortons (gigantic Canadian coffee shop chain) and picked up a coffee on my way to work. While there I decided to get some doughnuts. I asked for "Two maple glaze and four chocolate dips please." The conversation went like this:
"you want what?" - the counter girl had the same stunned look made famous by Julie Hagerty in Airplane.
"Two maple glaze and four chocolate dips, please."
"uhh...two maple glaze..."
"...and four chocolate dips. Please."

"uhh...." (this clearly took some extra processing power.) "Uhhh...doughnuts?"
I was silent for a long...long moment. I'd already done the mental downshift a couple times and we were firmly in first. By the loks of things, we'd be in neutral any second.
"...yes. Doughnuts." Very patiently.
"So...two maple glazed doughnuts and..."
"(sigh) four chocolate dip doughnuts....please."
"So that's...um...er...six doughnuts?"

...at which point I had to look around and see if I could spot Grover and the Cookie Monster.


My other fave is years back; when acting as a skydiving instructor in Calgary, Alberta. A young lass was watching her beau do his first jump. She was standing beside me by the peas, watching me talk the newbies down by radio. ("Number Four, congratulations! Clear your brakes and head upwind. Number Three, DO NOT dock on Number Two! Number One, locate your landing zone. It's behind you.") The girl was nervous, but even still...

The plane turned onto jump run and I told her "OK, they're on jump run, you'll see him any second." She gasped and asked "You mean they don't stop the plane?"  :o

So fresh it is still painfull.

I went to a supplier today with an order. Three different businesses were involved and the order was written out with each businesses requirements clearly labeled by name of business,product and quantity.

One business was a 7 day account,one a cheque payment and the other cash.

The sales person managed to put the cheque business on the 7 day account,all of the items on the 7 day account,deleted the details of the cheque account business,had to re-enter all the business details,re-enter the purchase details separating the two accounts(had already printed an invoice) and all this while I quietly and repeatedly explained-FIVE TIMES-what was clearly written in front of him.

Then when I handed over $50.60 to pay a $30.60 invoice he looked confused and used a calculator to decide I got $20 change.

What was really a simple transaction turned into a waste of time.

There is more that happened when I returned to work but I think I really need a lie down now.

Col

[color=#003300]I've seen a few of those before. Some of them may explain certain label warnings or even medical terms. For instance:

Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.

Here's one I thought of while writing another Army-related response.

In '90I was a young corporal doing a 3 month attached posting in CFB Gagetown as a driver on an officers' course.

I was spending a quiet evening in barracks cleaning my kit whyen the door opens and two dirty, disheveled and seriously worried reservists staggered in. These boys (from the Nova Scotia Highlanders, as I recall) told me they'd taken an Iltis (jeep) and had gone out in the training area joyriding - a major offence in the Canadian Army. They'd drivin into a marshy area and sank their vwehicle and could I pleeeeease help them get out?

Well, I got a career path to think about here, but i'll help a brother in need so I say OK - on the understanding that if the MP's show up, I'm into the long grass like a rabbit. So we grab another jeep - legitimately this time as I have a jeep on my allotment - and drive out to the spot. On the way, one of 'em says "This is great - once we get it onto dry ground we can use it to get the others out."

Screeeeech!! "'Others?!?'" I say...and since I'm not moving until I get an explanation the rest of the story comes out.

They went joyriding in an iltis and sank it. So they trudged back to base and stole a 5-quarter. (1 1/4 ton truck) to get it out...and sank it too. So they went back and got another one...and sank it. That wasn't the whole story...but I had to see for myself and went to the area anyway. The total list of things these two morons took and sank in that marsh:
1 Iltis
2 5/4's
1 Deuce-and-a-half
2 M-113 APCs
1 Grizzly APC
and a Leopard ARV (Armoured Recovery Vehicle).

Eight friggin' vehicles sunk in a swamp by ten at night!

It took an entire platoon from 1 Support Battalion about six hours to clean up the mess, and don't think THEY were totally thrilled to be called out at Midnight on a Friday night.

There's stupid, then there's real reverse genius!