What you shouldn't put in a resume...

What are you laughing at?

What you shouldn't put in a resume...

Postby Ravang » Sat Oct 18, 2008 3:57 pm

The following should NEVER be stated in a resume...(if you want the job that is). ;)
--------------------------------------------------------

"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

"It's best for employer that I not work with people."

"Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."

"You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time."

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail."

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing."

"Personal interest: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

"Note: Please don
User avatar
Ravang
Ground hog
Ground hog
 
Posts: 0
Joined: Sat Nov 07, 2009 11:40 pm
Location: South Carolina, USA

Re: What you shouldn't put in a resume...

Postby cspyro21 » Sat Oct 18, 2008 4:12 pm

Some of those are very good indeed ;D ;D
User avatar
cspyro21
Major
Major
 
Posts: 4987
Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2005 6:11 am

Re: What you shouldn't put in a resume...

Postby a1 » Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:31 pm

;D ;D ;D
Image
790i : QX9650 : 4Gb DDR3 : GeForce 8800 GTX : 1 WD Raptor : 1 WD VelociRaptor 150
User avatar
a1
Lieutenant Colonel
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Posts: 7608
Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2007 9:16 pm

Re: What you shouldn't put in a resume...

Postby H » Sun Oct 19, 2008 1:56 am

[color=#003300]Hi, Ravang. I might need to use it soon, so, I was wondering if you were through with using my resum
Last edited by H on Sun Oct 19, 2008 1:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
H
Lieutenant Colonel
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Posts: 5525
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 1:27 am
Location: NH, USA

Re: What you shouldn't put in a resume...

Postby Brando14100 » Sun Oct 19, 2008 6:19 pm

Here's one from Deadliest Catch:

Keith was looking for a new greenhorn. He is going through resumes and one of them said:

Character References: Parole Officer, Bail Bondsmen.

He through it out the wheelhouse window.

8-)

Did I spell parole right? Doesn't look it.

Nice list.

8-)
Brando14100
 

Re: What you shouldn't put in a resume...

Postby H » Mon Oct 20, 2008 12:06 am

Here's one from Deadliest Catch:
Keith was looking for a new greenhorn. He is going through resumes and one of them said:
Character References: Parole Officer, Bail Bondsmen.
He through it out the wheelhouse window.
Did I spell parole right?
Yes... now, can you spell threw?


8-)
H
Lieutenant Colonel
Lieutenant Colonel
 
Posts: 5525
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 1:27 am
Location: NH, USA

Re: What you shouldn't put in a resume...

Postby AussiePilot » Mon Oct 27, 2008 4:24 am

:D :) ;) ;D
Image
Woot AussiePilot.
User avatar
AussiePilot
2nd Lieutenant
2nd Lieutenant
 
Posts: 250
Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:48 am
Location: Australia


Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 469 guests