Credit crunch

[ozzy72]

How do you define optimism?
A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.

What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't short-sell anything?
"Quarter pounder with fries please"

What is the difference between a pigeon and a merchant banker?
A pigeon can still put a deposit on a Ferrari

What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Why didn't the little boy get any pocket money this week?
Cos his Mum's gone to Iceland!

What's the capital of Iceland?
Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty...

Latest news, the Isle of Dogs Building Society has collapsed. They've called in the retrievers.

Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!"

An elderly lady receives an e-mail from the son of a deceased (but wealthy) African general, asking whether he could transfer millions of pounds into her bank account in return for a 20% cut. All the son needs is the sort code and account number. Not realising she is the victim of a Nigerian 419 fraud, she e-mails back the details. A couple of minutes later she receives an e-mail back from the general's son: 'Icesave?!' What is this, some sort of scam?"