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Mans home guide

PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:13 am
by ozzy72
1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
   
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
   
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
   
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.  Remember to use a timer.
   
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
   
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.
   
7. You need only two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
   
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
   
   
And last:  If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

Re: Mans home guide

PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:27 am
by J.
#7 and the last point are oh so true!

Re: Mans home guide

PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:27 am
by Romulus111VADT
Duct Tape also works well to quiet a nagging noise, worked like a charm on my ex-mother-in-law. In fact, worked so well, my ex-father-in-law bought a case... ;)

Re: Mans home guide

PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:56 am
by Brando14100
;D ;D

8-)

Re: Mans home guide

PostPosted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 9:52 am
by ShaneG_old
What else could a man need to know?! Nice!! ;D ;D ;D

Re: Mans home guide

PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:53 am
by H
Wow, Ozzy, I didn't know you knew my grandad (even my dad complained about the 'sink' one)!
A word of caution to the married... wear a helmet: some wives swing a mean pan.



8-)

Re: Mans home guide

PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 5:09 am
by Meck
Great!  ;D

Re: Mans home guide

PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:51 am
by Romulus111VADT
Image

http://www.amazon.com/Popular-Mechanics-When-Duct-Enough/dp/1588165655

It's a real book, I swear....lmao

When my step-son gets back from deployment, he'll have a copy.