a couple of funny ones

[J.]

While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, my wife and I listened to the instructor declare, 'it is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.'

He addressed the men: 'can you each name and describe your wife's favourite flower?'

I leaned over, touched my wife's arm gently and whispered, 'self-raising, isn't it?'

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My wife got me to tie her to the bed last night. When I did, she said that I could do anything I wanted.

So I had a shave and went down the pub.

[Mazza]