One-hundred miles from the nearest port and the ship was gradually leaning more to starboard. Supervised by the first officer, consequent checks and searches of the ship, heavily loaded with munitions, showed no leaks and the storage log indicated that loading weight should have been evenly distributed. Meanwhile, the captain, himself, had checked over everything loaded on the starboard side, reitemizing everything -- the listings all agreed. He wanted the same done for the port side but, by now, his eyes were tired to the point of blur so he told his first officer what he needed done.
Minutes later there was a large explosion on the port side and the ship slowly began to roll upright. Then there was another explosion, followed by one more, and the ship began to ever more quickly lean to port. The life boats had to be prepared.
"What happened!" the captain screemed to the first officer.
"I blew three holes in the hull. You told me you wanted a 'list to the port side' and 'expected us all to be rowing home.'"
8-)
