"What do you mean you've got your zipper stuck? Couldn't you hold it 'til you got back to base!"
[On a side note, this reminds me of the winter when I was driving my cousin and his friends up the thruway and we got stopped where the road was blocked by a jack-knifed tractor trailor; my cousin had set his can of beer down on the console between us and passed out, the snowbanks were piled high on both sides, lights and stopped traffic all around.
The girl behind me exclaimed, "I've got go, I can't get out and do it in front of everybody!"
I told her to use an empty can and she said she couldn't "hit that little hole." She decided to try, anyway.
A moment later I yelled back, "[her name]! You're hitting the wrong can!"
"What?"
"You're hitting the wrong can -- mine!"
"I'm sorry!" she replied while reaching around to gently grab my arm, knocking my cousin's can into my lap.
Now I was watching an officer walking towards my Charger. I was the only one in the vehicle who hadn't been drinking alcohol -- but I was the driver, the oldest in the vehicle, I'd just turned 21 and my posterior (et.al.) was soaked with urine and topped off with beer!
The officer tapped on my window. I opened it.
Turning to the side he put a hand to the side of his mouth and asked, "You got any rye in there?"
It didn't seem very funny at the time...]

8-)