Splash posted this one early on . . . anybody remember Splash?
Dont see many hanggliders in this part of the country, but Hank saved up and bought himself a rig.
Carried it to the highest mountain, took off running and suddenly was blissfully airborne.
Meanwhile Ma and Pa were sittin on their porch when Ma suddenly said "Pa thats the biggest bird Ive ever seen"
Pa stood up. "Ma, get my gun"
Ma brought him the shotgun, and he fired off several shots - bang, bang, bang. But the enrormous bird continued to sail silently over the treetops.
"I believe you missed him Pa" said Ma
"Yeah" Pa said. "But at least he let go of Hank."
Some Famous Last Words:
--It's fireproof.
--He's probably just hibernating.
--What does this button do?
--It's probably just a rash.
--Are you sure the power is off?
--The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!
--Pull the pin and count to what?
--Which wire was I supposed to cut?
--I wonder where the mother bear is.
--I've seen this done on TV.
--These are the good kind of mushrooms.
--I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
--Let it down slowly.
--It's strong enough for both of us.
--This doesn't taste right.
--I can make this light before it changes.
--Nice doggie.
--I can do that with my eyes closed.
--I've done this before.
--What duck?
--Well, we've made it this far.
--That's odd.
--Don't be so superstitious.
--Now watch this.
Living out here on an island in the North Atlantic, one has to be able to think quick on their feet , like the ole fella just down the road.
A Fisheries Officer spotted him walking along the beach with a huge lobster in each hand
Officer stopped him "Excuse me, Sir dont you know the lobster season is closed, and you are in big trouble"
Fella says "But these are my pets, Officer and if I throw them into the ocean and whistle they will swim back to me"
Officer didnt believe him and told him to prove it
Fella throws the lobsters back into the ocean, whistles and starts walking along the beach.
Officer yells "Come on, Sir Where are those lobsters?"
Fella replies "What lobsters, Officer?"
Well, that's the first page. let me know if you'd like to read more . . .
