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Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:10 am
by BFMF
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his
wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which
she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to
go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed
stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your
house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy,
and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along
when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and
phoned the police again.  

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've
just shot them all."  Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police
caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George:
"I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

;D

(Supposedly a true story, but I couldn't confirm it...)

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:14 am
by eno
Image  :P :P :P :P

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:16 am
by BFMF
[quote]Image

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:18 am
by eno
Last year actually  :P :P ....... I'm not going looking for it  :) :)

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 4:26 am
by BFMF
I had already ran a search for it and couldn't find it, so it's ok to be reposted... ;D

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 6:25 am
by expat
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his
wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which
she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to
go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed
stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your
house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy,
and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along
when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and
phoned the police again.  

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've
just shot them all."  Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police
caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George:
"I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

;D

(Supposedly a true story, but I couldn't confirm it...)


Mean while Mr Phillips is charged with wasting police time, sentenced to 6 months, loses his job, then his house because he cannot pay his mortgage. His wife leaves him and moves in with her sister.

The burglars get a 50 hour community service order because they are misunderstood and did not get enough pocket money or love as children and compensation due to the shock of being arrested at gun point for breaking into a garden shed.

After living with her sister for a while, tensions start to rise between Mrs Phillips and her sister. She is forced to move out and starts moving from friend to friend. It soon becomes apparent that this is also not working for her. Desperate she turns to local social services, but is told that her case is not a priority and that after being means tested she does not qualify for any state help. With no place and no one to turn to she starts to walk the streets and is soon arrested for soliciting.

Mr Phillips is released from prison after serving his full tariff. He was not entitled to time off for good behaviour due to there being a threat of violence with a weapon at his arrest. Now having a criminal record he is unable to find proper work and drifts from handy man to handy man type jobs. He finds out that his loving wife has now been arrested for prostitution and walks in front of a speeding train.

The burglars have again been arrested for breaking and entry, but at time of typing are on an trip to a Kenyan safari park to get in touch with themselves and to show them the error of their ways, paid for by the local authority who are trying to promote care in the community.

Matt

PS Mrs Phillips was found under the railway bridge where her husband committed suicide. She had died of a drugs overdose.

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 6:35 am
by Fozzer
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his
wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which
she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to
go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed
stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your
house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy,
and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along
when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and
phoned the police again.  

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've
just shot them all."  Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police
caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George:
"I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

;D

(Supposedly a true story, but I couldn't confirm it...)


Mean while Mr Phillips is charged with wasting police time, sentenced to 6 months, loses his job, then his house because he cannot pay his mortgage. His wife leaves him and moves in with her sister.

The burglars get a 50 hour community service order because they are misunderstood and did not get enough pocket money or love as children and compensation due to the shock of being arrested at gun point for breaking into a garden shed.

After living with her sister for a while, tensions start to rise between Mrs Phillips and her sister. She is forced to move out and starts moving from friend to friend. It soon becomes apparent that this is also not working for her. Desperate she turns to local social services, but is told that her case is not a priority and that after being means tested she does not qualify for any state help. With no place and no one to turn to she starts to walk the streets and is soon arrested for soliciting.

Mr Phillips is released from prison after serving his full tariff. He was not entitled to time off for good behaviour due to there being a threat of violence with a weapon at his arrest. Now having a criminal record he is unable to find proper work and drifts from handy man to handy man type jobs. He finds out that his loving wife has now been arrested for prostitution and walks in front of a speeding train.

The burglars have again been arrested for breaking and entry, but at time of typing are on an trip to a Kenyan safari park to get in touch with themselves and to show them the error of their ways, paid for by the local authority who are trying to promote care in the community.

Matt

PS Mrs Phillips was found under the railway bridge where her husband committed suicide. She had died of a drugs overdose.


...it's the normal English Judicial system at work, every day... 8-)...!

...trust me... ;)...!

Paul... 8-)...!

Well done, Matt!......10/10 for observation... ;D...!

P.S. Note that visitors/imports from foreign lands are excused criminal behaviour... :)...!

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 8:50 am
by flymo
George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his
wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which
she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to
go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed
stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your
house?" and he said no. Then they said that all patrols were busy,
and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along
when available. George said "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and
phoned the police again.  

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've
just shot them all."  Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. Of course, the police
caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George:
"I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

;D

(Supposedly a true story, but I couldn't confirm it...)


Mean while Mr Phillips is charged with wasting police time, sentenced to 6 months, loses his job, then his house because he cannot pay his mortgage. His wife leaves him and moves in with her sister.

The burglars get a 50 hour community service order because they are misunderstood and did not get enough pocket money or love as children and compensation due to the shock of being arrested at gun point for breaking into a garden shed.

After living with her sister for a while, tensions start to rise between Mrs Phillips and her sister. She is forced to move out and starts moving from friend to friend. It soon becomes apparent that this is also not working for her. Desperate she turns to local social services, but is told that her case is not a priority and that after being means tested she does not qualify for any state help. With no place and no one to turn to she starts to walk the streets and is soon arrested for soliciting.

Mr Phillips is released from prison after serving his full tariff. He was not entitled to time off for good behaviour due to there being a threat of violence with a weapon at his arrest. Now having a criminal record he is unable to find proper work and drifts from handy man to handy man type jobs. He finds out that his loving wife has now been arrested for prostitution and walks in front of a speeding train.

The burglars have again been arrested for breaking and entry, but at time of typing are on an trip to a Kenyan safari park to get in touch with themselves and to show them the error of their ways, paid for by the local authority who are trying to promote care in the community.

Matt

PS Mrs Phillips was found under the railway bridge where her husband committed suicide. She had died of a drugs overdose.


wow you bullseyed the english judicial system their mate :D

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 9:00 am
by Woodlouse2002
Of course, since Mr. Phillips lived in Mississippi just what is he doing being tried in England?

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:05 am
by expat
Of course, since Mr. Phillips lived in Mississippi just what is he doing being tried in England?



Mississippi, Derbyshire, you know, like Boston, Lincolncshire  ;D ;D

Matt

Re: Burglars

PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 3:20 am
by H
Last year actually.....
That it was -- but it gave the-ex-pat the opportunity to supply the sequal. ;)

8-)