Flustered Teachers Are Everywhere, Ozzy...
Posted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 5:13 amSent to me by my uncle a couple years past:
The question given to the student is in brown,
the student's answer is in blue.
Since I was aware that Benjamin Franklin was known, rightly or not, as a "ladies" man, it inspired me to further query these answers and I typed my own responses in red.
Also, for those not so familiar with U.S. history: the Declaraton of Independence was penned by the Continental Congress; Thomas Jefferson -- later to be the 2nd U.S. president -- was from the state of Virginia.
Who authorized the Declaration of Independence?
Delegates from the 13 original states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two of the singers.
Knowing of the romantic prowess of one of these two, singing obviously brings an end to virginity. Getting caught by a spouse may well end the singing.
Provide a short description of ancient Egyptian society.
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.
Indelibly, they applied their water colors to 'papa'rus or the more domestic 'pappy'rus.
When and how did Abraham Lincoln die?
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Boothe, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Boothe's career.
To get to the butt of the matter, it didn't do much to further Lincoln's, either.
What happens to your body as you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels, and you become inter-continental.
The longer you live, the more crap you spread around the world.
What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Only too often... and, if he doesn't watch his behind, he comes face-to-face with a nasty court settlement.
What is a caesarean section?
A caesarean section is a district in Rome.
...their elite delicetessan district where you can get infantesimal (infinitesimal) choice cuts.
What are steroids?
Things for keeping carpet still on the stairs.
If you can keep the users in place to do so.
What was Benjamin Franklin's shocking discovery?
He discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward.
...and that he'd rather be watching his kite fly rather than the fur!
What is a seizure?
A Roman emperor.
Roman emperors certainly seized all they could.
What is a terminal illness?
It's when you get sick at the airport.
It certainly brings one's travels to an end.
How do you delay milk turning sour?
Keep it in the cow.
If she runs around in circles, will the milk be homogenized?
Who was Julius Caesar?
A Roman who extinquished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. When he was murdered by the Ides of March, who didn't want him to be king, he gasped out, "That you, Brutus?"
Caesar was resurrected so that Brutus could go marching on?
Explain a process that makes water safe to drink.
Flirtation, because it removes large polutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
And we thought it riled them up and brought them to life...
The question given to the student is in brown,
the student's answer is in blue.
Since I was aware that Benjamin Franklin was known, rightly or not, as a "ladies" man, it inspired me to further query these answers and I typed my own responses in red.
Also, for those not so familiar with U.S. history: the Declaraton of Independence was penned by the Continental Congress; Thomas Jefferson -- later to be the 2nd U.S. president -- was from the state of Virginia.
Who authorized the Declaration of Independence?
Delegates from the 13 original states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two of the singers.
Knowing of the romantic prowess of one of these two, singing obviously brings an end to virginity. Getting caught by a spouse may well end the singing.
Provide a short description of ancient Egyptian society.
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.
Indelibly, they applied their water colors to 'papa'rus or the more domestic 'pappy'rus.
When and how did Abraham Lincoln die?
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Boothe, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Boothe's career.
To get to the butt of the matter, it didn't do much to further Lincoln's, either.
What happens to your body as you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels, and you become inter-continental.
The longer you live, the more crap you spread around the world.
What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Only too often... and, if he doesn't watch his behind, he comes face-to-face with a nasty court settlement.
What is a caesarean section?
A caesarean section is a district in Rome.
...their elite delicetessan district where you can get infantesimal (infinitesimal) choice cuts.
What are steroids?
Things for keeping carpet still on the stairs.
If you can keep the users in place to do so.
What was Benjamin Franklin's shocking discovery?
He discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward.
...and that he'd rather be watching his kite fly rather than the fur!
What is a seizure?
A Roman emperor.
Roman emperors certainly seized all they could.
What is a terminal illness?
It's when you get sick at the airport.
It certainly brings one's travels to an end.
How do you delay milk turning sour?
Keep it in the cow.
If she runs around in circles, will the milk be homogenized?
Who was Julius Caesar?
A Roman who extinquished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. When he was murdered by the Ides of March, who didn't want him to be king, he gasped out, "That you, Brutus?"
Caesar was resurrected so that Brutus could go marching on?
Explain a process that makes water safe to drink.
Flirtation, because it removes large polutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
And we thought it riled them up and brought them to life...
