Simviation Forums

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My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


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Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.



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Looking back over the years

That we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"



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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.



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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?



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I've always wanted to have

Someone to hold,

Someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.



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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.



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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.



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Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.



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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)



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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!



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When we were together,

You always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.



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We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?



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I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.



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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?



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Your friends and I wanted to do

Something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.



))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,

And it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

So your daughter's a hooker,  

And it spoiled your day.  

Look at the bright side,  

it's really good pay

nice  ;D

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!  

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)  

Great stuff Dave!

The baby one reminds me of a real quote I once read from a pediatrician who was asked what she says when confronted with an ugly baby:

"When the baby's very good-looking; I tell the parents 'What a beautiful baby!'; when it's ugly, I say 'He/she looks just like you!' "