Southern Court Affairs
Posted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 7:06 pmIn a Southern small-town trial, the prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly woman, to the stand. Approaching her, he asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
"Why, yes," She responded, "I know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy and, frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state, not to mention that he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of which was your wife. Yes, I know him."
As the defense attorney looked as if to hide beneath the desk while glared at by the prosecutor, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
"Why, yes," She responded, "I know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy and, frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state, not to mention that he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of which was your wife. Yes, I know him."
As the defense attorney looked as if to hide beneath the desk while glared at by the prosecutor, the judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
