// LIGHTBULBS //---------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. She holds it and the universe revolves around her.
-- or --
Q: How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to change it and four to pull the chair out
from under her.
Q: How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to change it and four to whine "It's too high!"
Q: How many stage managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's a job for the head electrician.
Q: How many head electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "LAMP", idiot! It's called a "lamp"!
Q: How many stage hands does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, if they can find a lamp big enough and figure out
how to get inside it.
Q: How many stage hands does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They know they'll be killed if they mess with the lights.
Q: How many lighting techs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. If it was working once, they know better than to mess with it.
Q: How many choreographers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "Ah-Five, Six, Seven, Eight..."
Q: How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They can never find their light.
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
Q: How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 12,001. One to screw it in, 2000 to record the event and
take pictures of it, and 10,000 to follow it around until
it burns out.
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