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oops....

PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:23 pm
by Jared
From a guys point of view......

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:58 pm
by ctjoyce
THAT IS AMAZING  ;D If only a real guy would have the balls to do that, he would be my personal idle.

Cheers
Cameron

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:29 pm
by legoalex2000
LOL!!! i was starting to think this happened to you. i would've had a standing ovation for you this moment. then i had to remember, this is humor... *sigh*

should've said you did it :P ;)

:)Ramos

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:48 am
by Omag 2.0
Funny fact: the 2 repliers who think the guy is a hero are 15 and 18! Any guy that's married or in a serious relationship knows this would equal removing your own "equipment" with a rusty knife and throwing it in your neighbours garden, cause you won't need it anymore... Ever...  ;D

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:49 am
by Ecko
Damn, that guy just killed himself.. :P

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:19 am
by Hai Perso Coyone?
That guy has balls for saying that...He's my hero ;D

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:11 am
by Mike..
[quote]Funny fact: the 2 repliers who think the guy is a hero are 15 and 18! Any guy that's married or in a serious relationship knows this would equal removing your own "equipment" with a rusty knife and throwing it in your neighbours garden, cause you won't need it anymore... Ever...

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:32 pm
by flyboy 28
Owned! ;D

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:21 pm
by BFMF
[quote]Funny fact: the 2 repliers who think the guy is a hero are 15 and 18! Any guy that's married or in a serious relationship knows this would equal removing your own "equipment" with a rusty knife and throwing it in your neighbours garden, cause you won't need it anymore... Ever...

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 1:46 pm
by Sytse
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"


Hmmm... At this stage I usually reply with the good ole NO! however... I think this guy has a better approach to the problem

Funny fact: the 2 repliers who think the guy is a hero are 15 and 18! Any guy that's married or in a serious relationship knows this would equal removing your own "equipment" with a rusty knife and throwing it in your neighbours garden, cause you won't need it anymore... Ever...

What's wrong Kris? Can't get in touch with your guardian angel?  ;D

That guy has balls for saying that

Not anymore...  :P ;D

Re: oops....

PostPosted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 9:20 am
by emmanuel723
Great joke keep them coming