Conversations passengers never hear part1
Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:31 pmI thought you people would enjoy these. I did.
Here are some conversations airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.
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Pilot: "Albuquerque Center, this is United 372. I have an engine that just went out and I need to land. No panic, but I need a runway that's close to my present location."
Tower: "United 372, this is Albuquerque Center. You are cleared to land at [Name of town I have never heard of] Airport immediately."
Pilot: (Who had obviously never heard of town either) "Hey, I'm not talking some crop duster airport here, Albuquerque Center."
Tower: "United 372, that runway is 6,700 feet long. Is THAT going to be enough for you, or do you want me to send someone up to help you land?"
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Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
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"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
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From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
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O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
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A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
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A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights, and return to the airport."
Here are some conversations airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world.
============================================================
Pilot: "Albuquerque Center, this is United 372. I have an engine that just went out and I need to land. No panic, but I need a runway that's close to my present location."
Tower: "United 372, this is Albuquerque Center. You are cleared to land at [Name of town I have never heard of] Airport immediately."
Pilot: (Who had obviously never heard of town either) "Hey, I'm not talking some crop duster airport here, Albuquerque Center."
Tower: "United 372, that runway is 6,700 feet long. Is THAT going to be enough for you, or do you want me to send someone up to help you land?"
============================================================
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
============================================================
"TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
"Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
============================================================
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
============================================================
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
============================================================
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
============================================================
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights, and return to the airport."
*craps pants laughing*