Simviation Forums

Lets face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.

I enjoyed that, very funny!

Re: english is a stuped language

And yet you still managed to misspell a word in the title

very nice, however...

why do they call a building a building once it is finished, shouldnt it be called a built?

What cruel idiot decided that the word lisp needed an S in it?

And who made the final decision on this?

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - the fear of long words.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but you have Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Soooooo true. Really is a screwed up language

And yet you still managed to misspell a word in the title

That;s the first thing I thought of too!

I've always wondered why the plural form of child is children. I mean really, what other word works like that?

I've always told my english teachers it is a stupid language and that its pointless to take that class....they all just told me to sit down and shut up

Seriously though...English breaks its own rules over and over again....and who the hell came up with the whole "I before E excecpt after C" deal.  Why should C get any special treatment...isnt that a bit unfair to the other concinents  English..the only language I truely know yet hate it to no end

I've always wondered why the plural form of child is children. I mean really, what other word works like that?

Brother & brethren. I'm sure there are many more examples. These words are probably of Germanic origin like Kinder (pronounced as in kindergarten) meaning children.

English..the only language I truely know yet hate it to no end

Learn to love & cherish the language you use to communicate with others & it will all become so much easier. Taking the trouble to pronounce words properly makes them easier to spell.

English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

These definititions were originally only used in the US. A proper English muffin is very different to an American one. 'French' fries are called chips in England - what's served with Fish 'n chips.

And yet you still managed to misspell a word in the title

wich won?

Brother & brethren. I'm sure there are many more examples. These words are probably of Germanic origin like Kinder (pronounced as in kindergarten) meaning children.

Quote:English..the only language I truely know yet hate it to no end  


Learn to love & cherish the language you use to communicate with others & it will all become so much easier. Taking the trouble to pronounce words properly makes them easier to spell.

Quote:English muffins were not invented in England  
French fries were not invented in France.  


These definititions were originally only used in the US. A proper English muffin is very different to an American one. 'French' fries are called chips in England - what's served with Fish 'n chips.

let me ges, yor an ingglish teechr

let me ges, yor an ingglish teechr

No, just a crochety old coot.

No, just a crochety old coot.

That's about right.

who the hell came up with the whole "I before E excecpt after C" deal. end :P

lemme simply explain this rule:

>I before E, EXCEPT after C
>and when souded like A as in Neighbor and Weigh
>and on weekends, and holidays, and all throughout May
>Cause you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!

Ramos

let me ges, yor an ingglish teechr

I really hope he is just putting on a show here, and he doesn't really spell like that.