Simviation Forums

Recieved in an email, only people from the UK may be able to understand this LOL
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Chav Nativity type of fing,innit

There's this bird called Mary, yeah?
She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?'

Gabriel just goes on one 'You got one up the duff, you have.'

Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me
yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Bacardi Breezers an'
that.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I
reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra weez gonna get on the
social an' that.'

Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop,
yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn,

innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's
filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers
turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their 'eads.

They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from
the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an'
myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'

It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got
another message from this Lord geezer.

He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You

better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think
I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey' Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself,
pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'

So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an'
it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref,
an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
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Cheers

Like you said James, only the Brits would get this....

Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'

LOL! Very good James

ROFLMAOOL  ;D


Thats GREAT



Craig

Very clever. Love it.

Very clever. Love it.

LOL me to...Got it in an email from one of my mates.

LOL  :D

I've seen enough of the recent crop of British gangster movies to just barely follow that one...
The only thing I didn't get was "chav"... but that didn't spoil it for me.
 A heartwarming retelling of the ancient tale.; just lovely (dabs eyes with hanky).
Reminds me a little of  This Ain't No White Christmas by Rudy Ray Moore (a revamping of "Twas the night Before Christmas")... but I can't post even one line of that here.

Very Ali-G!!

I have a book somewhere and I'm not sure whether there is a christmas story innit will have to check...

Funny!

Moving and emotional. I think I'll print it out and give it to my eleventh graders to test their knowledge of English next lesson

Moving and emotional. I think I'll print it out and give it to my eleventh graders to test their knowledge of English next lesson

A bit religious for that, innit? But, since in the real version it was shepherds and not wise men (arrived much later to find him in a house), I suppose its just another story.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chav

Cheers...
From the sound of it, those "chavs" wouldn't last a minute on a Brooklyn subway when school is out...

hahaha....