and yet... more blonde jokes!!
Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:52 ami get the feeling that with this collection, some may have been posted before.
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a
bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:
"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida
or the moon?
"The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooooo, can
you see Florida.......
??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "And, how often do I have to do that?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the
opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other
side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day.
The Ru ssian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first
on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed
on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone
calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
off?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names
were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?"
"HELLOOOOOO," answered the blond. "They're watch
dogs!"
Ramos
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a
bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:
"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida
or the moon?
"The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooooo, can
you see Florida.......
?? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "And, how often do I have to do that?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the
opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other
side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day.
The Ru ssian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first
on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed
on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone
calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
off?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names
were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming
dogs like that?"
"HELLOOOOOO," answered the blond. "They're watch
dogs!"
Ramos