Life is tough.
Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 3:05 pmRecently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
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TWO.
I was checking out at the local Kmart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider,"
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much
this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
today."
She said, "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue
to what had just happened.
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THREE.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
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FOUR.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car "Do you
need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocked. Now I can't get into my
car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the
car keysto me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk."
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FIVE.
Several years ago, we had a junior who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of Typing
paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the junior took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it
on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
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SIX.
My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of
a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys
have a fire downtown?"
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SEVEN.
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was
working, the suspect confessed.
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Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid.
have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
"So I can't order half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
TWO.
I was checking out at the local Kmart with just a few items and the lady
behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of
those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider,"
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much
this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
today."
She said, "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue
to what had just happened.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
THREE.
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
FOUR.
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car "Do you
need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
the battery to this remote door unlocked. Now I can't get into my
car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the
car keysto me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't
you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
FIVE.
Several years ago, we had a junior who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of Typing
paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the junior took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it
on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
SIX.
My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of
a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems
with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys
have a fire downtown?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
SEVEN.
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the
copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought
the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was
working, the suspect confessed.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid.
