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A letter home

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:23 pm
by cableguy
Dont know if this has been posted or not


This Text is from an actual letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad after joining the army.

(For those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town west of Quilpie approx 10 hours west of Brisbane in the far south west of Queensland, Australia)



Dear Mum & Dad,

I am well. Hope youse are too.

Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the farm - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone!

I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all you gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed to stack nothin'!! Blokes haz gotta shave though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing!

At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon, and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!

This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter.

I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum's bum and it don't move and its not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - its a piece of piss!! You don't even load your own cartridges - they comes in little boxes and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!

Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.

Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pickhandles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer.

I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.

Your loving daughter,

Jill

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 8:32 pm
by Corsair Freak
Now that's a woman.

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 9:19 pm
by flyboy 28
Andrew, I swear to the God you don't believe in I'll punch you in the jaw if you say it.

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 9:21 pm
by Corsair Freak
O.O....

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:01 am
by BFMF
I know I've seen it here before ;D

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:47 am
by H
Andrew, I swear to the God you don't believe in I'll punch you in the jaw if you say it.
Forget the jaw; punch him in the eyes. If they swell up enough he won't be able to see anything again so he'll have seen it before!  ???... well, you know what I mean. ::) 8)

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 8:58 am
by Souichiro
I didn;t expect that twist

Marvelous!!! ;D

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:16 am
by Sytse
:o

;D ;D

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 11:52 am
by cableguy
Forget the jaw; punch him in the eyes. If they swell up enough he won't be able to see anything again so he'll have seen it before!  ???... well, you know what I mean. ::) 8)


well lets chop the fingers off, so he cant type no more ;)

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 2:22 pm
by Omag 2.0
Lol!  ;D

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 11:44 pm
by beefhole
Haha great ending! ;D

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Wed Oct 26, 2005 7:27 am
by ozzy72
I haven't seen that one for years! Still makes me smile ;D

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 4:31 am
by AlphaBravo
BPB  ;)

... Well i think it has.....

Re: A letter home

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 10:54 pm
by Moach
Great one!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D liked the ending ;D ;D ;D