Simviation Forums

At last, a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days..

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sport, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this.

1. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Just a funny one someone sent to me! Laughed my *behind* off! Sorry if you've already seen these or are offended by this...  ;D

I was litterally blacking out as I was LMFAO while reading that.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is sooooooo true - printing out & putting up next to the draining rack right now (next to the sign that say's 'Bowl shaped things will only dry if you leave them a certain way up' - 3 years I've been telling her how cereal bowls & draining racks work, 3 f'ing years!!).

Cheers,

TSC.

There is so much truth in these things... a man who nicely arranged every mans experiences with a female perhaps there?

LOL
Already knew most of them, but not from simviation.
Very true ey?

So true.

Been posted before.

So true.

Been posted before.

LMAO!!

By far the funniest thing I have ever read. Am passing it on to all my friends right now. and TSC sorry to hear that man, but its not half as bad as trying to explain to my little sister that the clutch must be depressed before shifting (woman almost cost me a preformance clutch).

Cheers
Cameon

haha, that's a keeper!  

good stuff!