Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the winter."
----------------
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out
of every four children born in the world was Chinese.
-----------
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
chest, and I thought: I just paid $16,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not
shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun
in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened,
I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to
make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the
trigger."
--------
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
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A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and
all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and
still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll
up the windows first."
---------
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the
clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos it keeps some
things hot and some things cold" "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm
going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
"What do you have there?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos. it keeps hot
things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you
have in it?" The blond replied, "Two Popsicles', and some coffee."
---------
They went to see "Closed for the winter."
----------------
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out
of every four children born in the world was Chinese.
-----------
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of
her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
your finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
chest, and I thought: I just paid $16,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not
shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun
in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened,
I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to
make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the
trigger."
--------
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
-------
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
some fun.
He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and
all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and
still nothing happened.
Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll
up the windows first."
---------
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the
clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos it keeps some
things hot and some things cold" "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm
going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
"What do you have there?" he asked. "Why, that's a thermos. it keeps hot
things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you
have in it?" The blond replied, "Two Popsicles', and some coffee."
---------
Ramos