The new Priest
Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:34 pmOk this one is not meant to offend anyone! If it turns out to be too offensive i'll remove it 
The new Priest
The new priest was so nervous that he could barely speak during his first service. He asked the Bishop for some advice, The bishop told him to put a few drops of wodka in a glass of water and drink it.
The priest did just that and in worked like a charm, his second service went perfect he remained ver calm. After putting some more drops into the glass he even remained calm during a storm which made it seem that the world was coming to an end. After that service he went back to his room and found a little note.
Dear priest: With this note I have taken the liberty of giving you some feedback on your latest service.
It is not nesscesary to put slices of lemon on the edge of you mass-cup.
The little cubicle next to the altar is a confession chair and not a toilet.
There are 10 commandments and not 12.
There were 12 apostles and not 14.
None of the apostles was a little dwarf and no one wore a little red hood.
One shall never announce Jesus Christ and the apostles as J.C. and the gang.
David did beat Goliath but not by kicking him in the balls.
We do not call Judas "that asshole" And we do not call the pope el Padrino
Bin laden has nothing to do with the death of Jesus
The Holy water is meant for blessings and not for refreshining one's neck
Why You drank the wine in one go,licked some salt and bit in a lemon, that Istill don't get.
The twit with the small boobs is mother Mary.
Please do not lean on the statues and under no circumstances kiss them!
The freak in the middle is Jesus Christ, He doesn't just hang there out of boredom but was nailed to the cross.
The one sitting in the corner whom you adressed as the dragqueen in the nightrobe, That was me.
Next time put two drops of wodka into the water and not the other way around
Many thanks
The Bishop!
I hope that not much was lost in the translation and that I have not offended anyone.
The new Priest
The new priest was so nervous that he could barely speak during his first service. He asked the Bishop for some advice, The bishop told him to put a few drops of wodka in a glass of water and drink it.
The priest did just that and in worked like a charm, his second service went perfect he remained ver calm. After putting some more drops into the glass he even remained calm during a storm which made it seem that the world was coming to an end. After that service he went back to his room and found a little note.
Dear priest: With this note I have taken the liberty of giving you some feedback on your latest service.
It is not nesscesary to put slices of lemon on the edge of you mass-cup.
The little cubicle next to the altar is a confession chair and not a toilet.
There are 10 commandments and not 12.
There were 12 apostles and not 14.
None of the apostles was a little dwarf and no one wore a little red hood.
One shall never announce Jesus Christ and the apostles as J.C. and the gang.
David did beat Goliath but not by kicking him in the balls.
We do not call Judas "that asshole" And we do not call the pope el Padrino
Bin laden has nothing to do with the death of Jesus
The Holy water is meant for blessings and not for refreshining one's neck
Why You drank the wine in one go,licked some salt and bit in a lemon, that Istill don't get.
The twit with the small boobs is mother Mary.
Please do not lean on the statues and under no circumstances kiss them!
The freak in the middle is Jesus Christ, He doesn't just hang there out of boredom but was nailed to the cross.
The one sitting in the corner whom you adressed as the dragqueen in the nightrobe, That was me.
Next time put two drops of wodka into the water and not the other way around
Many thanks
The Bishop!
I hope that not much was lost in the translation and that I have not offended anyone.
