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Swearing at work

PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:30 pm
by Hagar
Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.

8 ) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the h_ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Re: Swearing at work

PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:34 pm
by chomp_rock
lol ;D

I knew the HR department was up to no good! ;D

Re: Swearing at work

PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:55 pm
by beefhole
Nahh, I'l stick with the ones on the bottom.  Good post ;D

Re: Swearing at work

PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 7:36 pm
by TacitBlue
I believe Ill be puting this up on the note board here at work.

Re: Swearing at work

PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:18 pm
by Jared
yep, good words to live by, I've posted these at two different places of employment, and shared it with many friends..:-)

Re: Swearing at work

PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 1:53 am
by ozzy72
Personally I just nip off to the loo and have a ruddy good swear ;D Either that or I antagonise the French Dept as they hate the English Dept already 8)

Re: Swearing at work

PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:01 pm
by Ace_777
LOL Very funny

Re: Swearing at work

PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 2:07 pm
by Craig.
HAHA great one ;D

Re: Swearing at work

PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2005 8:39 pm
by the_autopilot
I should bring this to school.