There was this very poor wood cutter and one day he was out chopping wood, but he accidentally dropped his hatchet into the river, and he lost his only source of income and started to weep. Then suddently a fairy appeared out of the river and asked him whats wrong, so he replied "I dropped my hatchet into the river, and how I have no way to support my family" and the fairy replied "maybe I can help you." The fairy went into the river and pulled out a silver hatchet and asked the wood cutter "Is this your hatchet?" The wood cutter was amazed at the silver hatchet and wanted it, but he replied honestly "no" and the fairy went back into the river and this time pulled out a gold hatchet and asked him "Is this your hatchet?" and once again the wood cutter replied "no" and the fairy went back into the river an pulled out the wood cutter's hatchet and this time the wood cutter said it was his hatchet. And the fairy told him since he have been very honest he can have all three hatchets.
The next day, since he got alot of moned from the hatchets, he took his wife to town, but when they were crossing the river he accidently dropped his wife into the river. and the same fairy came out and asked him "Whats wrong?" and the wood cutter replied "I dropped my wife into the river." So the fairy went into the river and pulled out Jennifer Lopez and asked him "Is this your wife?" and the wood cutter immeadly replied "Yes" Then the fairy got very mad and said "Whey are you dishonest?" and the Wood cutter replied "If your going to do the same thing as you did yesterday, I can't afford three wives."
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The second one:
There is this American soldier on leave in Europe, and he was on a train. He paced the train many times and cannot find a seat, so he asked a French lady "I'm very tired and cannot find a seat so may I sit here?" and the French lady replied {French Accent} "You Americans are so inconsiderate now days, can't you see my poodle is sitting there?" So the soldier paced the train a few more times then he went back to the same lady and asked her kindly "I am very tired and still can't find a seat, so can I please sit here?" and the Fench lady replied {French Accent} "You Americans are so arrogant, can't you see my poodle is sitting here?" The American soldier became very angry and threw the poodle out of the window.
A few moments later a British guy, sitting behind him, leaned forward and told the American soldier {British Accent} "You Yanks seems to always do the wrong thing at the wrong time, First you hold your fork in the wrong hand, then you drive on the wrong side of the road, and now you threw the wrong bitch out of the window."
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And finally heres one that I find histerically funny:
Two peanuts were walking down a road, one was a salted.
Hope you enjoyed
