blondes
Posted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 8:46 pmFIRST DEGREE
> A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
>morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
>moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung
>up.
> The husband said, "Who was that?"
> The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the
>coast is clear."
> SECOND DEGREE
> Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
>the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, look s in the
>mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
>"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second
>one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
> THIRD DEGREE
> A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
>and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
>the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
>angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
> overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
> The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies,
>"Shut up, you're next!"
> FOURTH DEGREE
> A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
>proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
>what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
> The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
> FIFTH DEGREE
> What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
>pregnant? "Is it mine?"
> SIXTH DEGREE
> Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
>government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
>was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the
>decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
> SEVENTH DEGREE
> Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
>ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported
>the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9
>unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
>approached
> the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
>shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
>Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
>possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
> They send me a BLIND policeman.
> A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the
>morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a
>moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung
>up.
> The husband said, "Who was that?"
> The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the
>coast is clear."
> SECOND DEGREE
> Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
>the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, look s in the
>mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says,
>"Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second
>one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
> THIRD DEGREE
> A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
>and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens
>the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
>angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
> overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
> The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies,
>"Shut up, you're next!"
> FOURTH DEGREE
> A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She
>proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
>what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
> The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."
> FIFTH DEGREE
> What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
>pregnant? "Is it mine?"
> SIXTH DEGREE
> Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
>government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
>was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the
>decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."
> SEVENTH DEGREE
> Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
>ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported
>the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9
>unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer
>approached
> the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,
>shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
>Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my
>possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
> They send me a BLIND policeman.
