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My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 8:44 pm
by Loafing Smurf
My mom sends me these joke e-mails all the time, heres one of them.


If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9
months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it
pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories
an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years
longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have
sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Sat Mar 20, 2004 10:02 pm
by IcedFoxtrotter
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

You have to have your head cut off to have sex?! Now that sucks! Abstinace is good you. That's almost as bad as Mr. Bobbit's problem. ;) ;D

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 2:54 am
by BFMF
already been posted ;D

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:09 am
by Corsair Freak
already been posted ;D


;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:33 am
by Tequila Sunrise
ok, suck to be a praying mantis

who asked the butterfly?

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 5:47 pm
by terbert
;D ;D ;D


Oink, oink, oink I feel sorry for the pig. If there is re- incarnation, I am coming back as myself  ;D ;D

;D ;D ;D

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 6:10 pm
by bm_727
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9
months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Hahaha....
Now I finally have the plans to make a secret weapon of mass destructionImage

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 6:41 pm
by terbert
Hey bm_727

If you're serious, I could let you have that much gas by the end of next week ;D ;D ;D  That is assuming my wife continues cooking for the next seven days ;D

Tony C

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Tue Mar 23, 2004 9:14 pm
by bm_727
hey terbert-

How much for the g- wait...you're not involved with the FBI, are you ;)?  I can't afford for my plans to be discovered by the government :-/...

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Thu Mar 25, 2004 3:55 am
by Polynomial
lol

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 2:02 pm
by Skittles
Being the geek that I am, I'll have to say I disagree with the tounge being the strongest muscle, it's either the Jaw muscles or the heart.

Can I be a pig too?

Re: My mom sent me this e-mail

PostPosted: Thu Apr 01, 2004 3:16 pm
by bm_727
No, the tongue is definetly it-