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REDNECK 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Jeff Foxworthy


Wow, somebody done been to the WalMart!
(Jeff) Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas.
Well you cleaned up! Whadya git?

Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Hey Bubba, you got gypped -- there's 12 days to Christmas.
(Jeff) I know that, I got it covered. Look over in the corner.
That's yours too?
Yea!

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen (snuff)
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman (chewing tobacco)
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Man, this ain't normal Christmas presents!
No, they're redneck gifts!
Redneck gifts?
Yea, you know, like
if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishing lures.
Or, if you can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells"
Perhaps if you think "The Nutcracker" is something you did off a high-dive.
Or, if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights.
Or, if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.

What's wrong with that?
I didn't say anything wrong with it...
It's hard to beat...

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

Well, you can't really consider it a Christmas
'less you go down to the penitentiary and visit your mama.
You're not listenin' to me!
Get the car key outta your ear.
That's where the nine years probation comes in...
I'm gonna do it for ya again.
Now listen...

Chorus:
Twelve-pack of Bud
Eleven Wrastling tickets
Ten o' Copenhagen
Nine years probation
Eight table dancers
Seven packs of Redman
Six cans of Spam
Five flannel shirts
Four big mud tires
Three shotgun shells
Two hunting dogs
... And some parts to a Mustang GT.

I love it Rommy.

I seem to remember hearing this on the car radio during a trip to the US. Never seen it written out before. Still creases me up every time I think about it. I've been a big fan of Jeff Foxworthy ever since.

Is part of the credit due to Jeff Foxworthy?

This is one of his many Redneck routines and as far as I'm aware...he wrote it.

This is one of his many Redneck routines and as far as I'm aware...he wrote it.

You're too quick for me. Note that I edited my reply after realising you already credited him. I'm not so observant as I used to be.

You're too quick for me. Note that I edited my reply after realising you already credited him. I'm not so observant as I used to be.

No problemo.

I know the feeling all to well my friend.

lol just got the song from kazaa and it is hilarious:)

Nice, very funny!  ;D

If you fellers like that, I recommend the VERY amusing "Blue Collar Comedy Tour".  If you have Comedy Central, its a constant this year, or you can buy it.  If you possibly can, check it out.

Widgedige(WID-ja-di-ja)=you can find this definition in the show.