British
Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2003 4:39 am>Hope your sense of humour is alive and kicking.
>
>Very proud to be British because ...
>
>Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
>
>Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
>the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
>buy cigarettes at the front.
>
>Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and
>a DIET coke.
>
>Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
>the counters.
>
>Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
>and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
>
>Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
>have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
>talk to in the first place.
>
>Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in
>front of a skating rink.
>
>NOT TO MENTION...
>
>Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
>
>142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
>
>58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
>screwdrivers.
>
>31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
>fairy lights were plugged in.
>
>19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
>were chocolate.
>
>British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
>accidents.
>
>101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
>the soles of their feet.
>
>18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a jumper with a lit cigarette
>in their mouth.
>
>A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
>opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
>
>5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
>Scalextric cars.
>
>and finally.........
>
>In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
>
>RULE BRITANNIA!
>
>Very proud to be British because ...
>
>Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
>
>Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
>the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
>buy cigarettes at the front.
>
>Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and
>a DIET coke.
>
>Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
>the counters.
>
>Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive
>and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
>
>Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
>have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
>talk to in the first place.
>
>Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in
>front of a skating rink.
>
>NOT TO MENTION...
>
>Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
>
>142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
>
>58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
>screwdrivers.
>
>31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
>fairy lights were plugged in.
>
>19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
>were chocolate.
>
>British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
>accidents.
>
>101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of
>the soles of their feet.
>
>18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a jumper with a lit cigarette
>in their mouth.
>
>A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
>opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
>
>5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
>Scalextric cars.
>
>and finally.........
>
>In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
>
>RULE BRITANNIA!
, some of thoose don't sound too british