The Top 12 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets

What are you laughing at?

The Top 12 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets

Postby Deputy » Tue Apr 01, 2003 9:18 pm

12. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.

11. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.

10. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

9. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.

8. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.

7. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

6. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on 'roids, or they'll flush my ass.

5. Always scoot before licking.

4. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

3. Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this year.

2. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

and the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...

1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?

Iustita Omnibus
Justice for All

Women are: attractive, single, mentally stable. Pick two.
[img]http://www.simviation.com/yabbuploads/
User avatar
Deputy
Major
Major
 
Posts: 1314
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 7:54 pm
Location: Hillsboro, Oregon

Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 268 guests