Evil Putdowns Part 2

[Deputy]

Can I have your phone number?
No, but you can have my dialling code.

Can I spend the evening with you?
I gave up baby-sitting years ago.

Can you give me your name, please?
I don't think 'Melissa' would suit you.

Cheer up darling, it may never happen.
It just has.

Do you know what would look good on you?
No?
Me.

Do you mind if I smoke?
I don't care if you burn.

Excuse me, aren't we related?
No, and I don't want to be.

Going so soon?
Stay a minute and let me get you a drink.
Just give me the cash - I'll get one later.

Have you got a problem with that?
No, only with you.

Hey, don't go yet . . .you've forgotten something.
What?
Me.

How would you like my eggs in the morning?
Not fertilised, please.

How would you like your eggs in the morning?
Unfertilised, mate. Go away.

I have designs on you.
I think you'd better go back to the drawing board.

I love you.
I love chocolate, but I wouldn't bother chatting it up.

I never forget a face.
Neither do I, but in your case I'll make an exception.

I'd like to marry you.
I'd rather skip straight towards the divorce.

I'd like to run my fingers through your hair.
Yes please - you can wipe the lice on my sleeve.

I'd like to see more of you.
There isn't any more of me.

I'd like to take you to dinner.
Sure - can you pick me up again afterwards?

I'm sure I could turn you on.
You couldn't even turn on a radio.

I'm sure I've noticed you before.
I'm not sure I've even noticed you yet.

I'm thinking of giving celibacy a try.
Not with me, you're not.

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
No, it's a gun.