Aviation Humor

[Oso]

Her is my attempt at gaining that prestigious award  :-*



Un hombre viaja a bordo de un 747 y tiene la urgente necesidad de ir
al ba

[ozzy72]

Think you might need to translate that for us Bear, my Spanish just isn't up to it.

Ozzy

[Woodlouse2002]

Give him the award... That was annoying... wot with the first sentance in perfect english...

[Oso]

Actually I have no idea what it says, no habla Espanol.

Seems that it is about a guy that finds an automatic Tampon extractor in the bathroom of a 747 and winds up in the hospital, best as I can tell.

[ozzy72]

So why is your sign-in Oso meaning bear? And how can you tell what it says if you don't speak Spanish?

[Oso]

I live in San Antonio - that is what the ladies at the office call me - as in cuddly.

Here - maybe this one will make up for the annoyance -


An old man was sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana watching the sunrise.  He saw the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm.  He yelled out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?" The boy yelled back, "Roll of chicken wire." The old man said, "What you gonna do with that?" The boy said, "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old man yelled, "You damn fool...  you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" The young boy just laughed and kept walking.   That evening at sunset the boy came walking by and to the  old man's surprise he was dragging behind him the chicken wire  with about 30 chickens caught in it.   The same time the next morning, the old man was out watching  the sunrise again, and saw the boy walk by, carrying something kind  of round in his hands.   The old man yelled out, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"  The boy yelled back, "A roll of duck tape."  The old man replied, "What you gonna do with that?"  The boy said, "Gonna catch me some ducks, mister."  The old man hollered back, "You damn fool...  you can't catch  ducks with duck tape!"  The boy just laughed and kept walking past.   That night around sunset, the boy walked on his way home,  and to the old man's amazement the boy trailed behind him the  unrolled tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.   Same time next morning the old man saw the boy walking by  carrying a bunch of long reeds with something fuzzy on the ends.  > The old man said, "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"  The boy said, "Pussy Willows."  "Wait up....  I'll get my hat..."

[BMan1113VR]

that joke is not that bad, definatly not PITA award quality

[ozzy72]

That one is rather good. I'm getting the Spanish stuff translated at the moment.

Ozzy

[katana_1000]

this is what i got:
A man travels on board from a 747 and has the urgent need to go to the ba

[Oso]

That made it even more annoying - may I have my PITA award now please?  8)

[EirePlane]

There were a few spelling errors!
it says:
To board man travels on from to 747 and there plows the urgent need to
go to the bath. Of to later several tentative continues occupied and
the hostess, current of his problem, suggests that even to that of
ladies. Nevertheless, it recommends it not to touch the bellboy
identificativos by "A.C.", "a.s.", "P.P.", and "E.T.A." While is
seated satisfying its needs, its curiosity enlarges and with certain
to to fear pressures on the identifying push-button by "TO C."
Immediately to hot spurt of Water caresses it slightly. God mines! -
Thinks- ace plows treaties the women! Later pressures on the
identifying push-button ace "TO S." and to Dry breeze of Air it
drought the bum. Magnificent! It encouraged by the success of the two
previous operations pressures on the following identifying one ace P
P. Some for Scented Dust extend all to to their to to rear one. Wow! -
It says- this if that is to travel! It you decides then to test with
the identifying one with "E.T.A.".. When himself woke up, was found in
the hospital. Confused I call the nurse: What there plows passed,
there plows crashed the airplane? Last It that me agreement is that
was in the bath of ladies. You were really in the bath of ladies, you
respond the nurse, but there plows not respected the counsel of not
touching the push-buttons and especially that of Extraci

[russ]

i think i saw this joke on this forum like 3 months ago

[Woodlouse2002]

can we get someone who speaks spanish to translate this please? online translators make no sence.

[Oso]

Seeing all the trouble people are going through to find out what the joke is just goes to show you what a Pain In The Ass it is.  ;D

[ozzy72]

Here is the correct translation (by a Spanish teaching friend of mine who lived in Madrid);
A man is travelling on board of a 747 and has to go to the bathroom.It is occupied for a long time and the air-hostess tells him to use the ladies', but she warns him not to use the buttons WW, WA ,PD and ETA.

While sitting there doing whatever he has to, he gets curious and with a certain bad feeling presses WW  .Suddenly he feels a nice warm spray of water.Oh God, he is thinking, how nicely women are treated here!
Then he presses the button WA and feels some warm air drying his ass.

Oh, how nice this feels, he reckons, and as he is extremely satisfied with the two operations behind,he presses  PD.Immediately, some perfumed dust covers all his behind sweetly.
ĄĄWow! -he says- this is travelling!And he presses the button ETA.
When he awoke he found himself in a hospital. Confused, he calls the nurse:  
"What happened?Did the plane crash?The last I remember is sitting in the ladies'."
"Yes," she answers , "you were actually there, but you didnt respect the advice and pressed the button Extract Tampax Automatically.... of course your penis is under the pillow...."