A sailor and a Marine walk into the Head ( "bathroom " for you 'Lubbers) and proceed to empty their bladders. The sailor finished first and headed for the door.
The Marine turns to him and says "In the Marines we were taught to wash our hands after we're done." The sailor replied "In the Navy we were taught not to Pee on our hands"
An Aircraft Mechanic only needs two tools, Duct Tape and WD40.
If it moves and it's not supposed to - use the Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and it's supposed to - use the WD40.
Intel(R) i5 CPU 750 @ 2.67GHz, P55M-UD4, GeForce GTX960 8.00 GB RAM, Windows 7 Ultimate (32 bit & 64 bit on separate HDs)